PASSOVER SEDER
Off to the side, you will see a picture of my new husband and me. We will be celebrating our first Passover together and wondered what to do because we do not have any children at home. Additionally, we were concerned about how long the traditional service takes and how many glasses of wine we are supposed to drink. We decided to shorten the service to suit us, and to make it entirely positive.
Today I cleaned house. I also emptied the house of Hametz in a non-traditional way. When we moved here, we didn't know where to put the freezer, so we stuck it on the back porch. It looks ugly there, but this morning, I realized it was there so I didn't have to feed all the bread to our chickens! Ha! (It's not correct, I know, but I'm a convert, so I'm cutting myself a little slack!)
Before dinner we will scatter a tiny bit of bread around for our dogs to find, which they will no doubt do with as much glee as children do.
This morning I made some gluten free Matzah by blending three overripe bananas with some walnuts and pouring it in square-ish shapes on a dehydrator tray. I marinated lamb in fresh squeezed grapefruit, basil, olive oil, garlic and onion flakes.
I don't have a tablecloth, but I do have a nice piece of burgandy velvet, so it will suffice!
I put three pieces of Matzah on a platter a friend gave us at our wedding last month! I will cover the Matzah with a cloth that was my grandmother's. Another friend gave us a Passover platter, on which I will place a lamb bone and a few pieces of meat; dandelion and rosemary from our garden, chopped fine; a paste of apples, golden raisins and walnuts; a boiled egg, Miner’s lettuce from our hill; and a peeled orange. Nearby I will place a bowl of salt water. I will open a bottle of red wine and have 3 glasses on the table, one for Elijah.
Below is a script of sorts I wrote out for our reference. The man of the house is supposed to lead the service, but I figure that may be tiresome and also, I want to participate more. So I have him saying the blessings and me giving commentary. If you use this script in your home, D. is the man and L. is the woman.
We will start with Kiddush (Kadeish), pouring about 1/3 glass of wine, D. saying the blessing.
D. washes his hands, then dips miner’s lettuce in salt water and we both eat it.
D. uncovers and breaks ½ of middle piece of matzah and places it aside for later (afikomen).
L. opens the window and says, motioning to the remaining matzah:
This is the bread of poverty, which our ancestors ate in Egypt. All who are hungry, let them come in and eat. All who are needy, let them come in and celebrate the Passover. Now we are here; next year may we be in the land of Israel! Now we are slaves; next year may we be free!
D. says:
In every generation a man is bound to regard himself as though he personally had gone forth from Egypt, because it is said, and thou shalt tell thy son “it is because of that which the Lord did for me when I came forth out of Egypt.” We were slaves unto Pharaoh in Egypt and the Lord our God took us out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. If the Holy One, blessed be He, had not taken our forefathers out of Egypt, then we, and our children, and our children’s children would still be slaves unto Pharaoh in Egypt.
D. re-covers the Matzah.
L. says:
This night is different from all other nights. We eat unleavened bread because our people fled Egypt in haste and thus had not time to allow their bread to rise. We eat bitter herbs to remind us of the bitterness of slavery in Egypt. We dip in salt water to remember our tears and in haroset to remember the sweetness of freedom. Tonight our home is our Temple.
D. reads from Psalm 114:
When Israel went forth from Egypt,
the house of Jacob from a people of strange speech,
Judah became His holy one, Israel, His dominion.
The sea saw them and fled.
D. pours second 1/3 glass of wine. We both wash hands. D. recites Hamotzi with the following ending:
“who sanctified us by His commandment concerning the eating of Matzah”
We each eat Matzah.
D. then recites Hamotzi, with the ending:
“who sanctified us by His commandment concerning the eating of bitter herbs.”
We each then eat a bite of bitter herbs with a bite of haroset.
D. then says:
Thus did Hillel, when the Temple was in existence:
He would combine some of the pashal lamb and some Matzah and some bitter herbs and eat them together to fulfill the Biblical command: “They shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.”
Then we combine Matzah, bitter herbs and a bit of lamb and eat like a sandwich. We finish with a bit of orange, which symbolizes the bringing of marginalized people into Judaism.
Then we eat our dinner, splitting the egg in half and pouring the 1/3 glass of wine. L. says, as she splits the afiklomen in two for our “dessert”: “When we break the bread of poverty and share it with a prayer, it becomes bread of the Lord.”
D. reads from Psalm 116:
I love the Lord, for He hears my voice, my pleas
For He turns His ear to me whenever I call
The bonds of death encompassed me
The torments of Sheol overtook me.
I came upon trouble and sorrow
And I invoked the name of the Lord…
You have delivered me from death
My eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
I shall walk before the Lord in the lands of the living.
And from Psalm 136:
Praise the Lord, for He is good,
His steadfast love is eternal…
Who split apart the Sea of Reeds
And made Israel pass through it.
His steadfast love is eternal.
D. pours a sip more wine each. L. places the third glass on the window for Elijah. We clink glasses and say: “Next year in Jerusalem!”
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Bet Din
My Bet Din 2/4
Several books about conversion prepared me for a bet din (a panel of rabbis or at least one rabbi with with community lay leaders) to ask me questions about learning, motivation, lifestyle, etc. Mentally, I knew I was well prepared. So why was I sweating? (In February!) My fiancé was not allowed in the room, but he stayed in the lobby because he didn’t want to wait at home, wondering what was going on!
Rabbi Yitz ushered me into a room where Rabbi Maurice and Joan Bayliss, a lay leader who sings (beautifully!) for holiday celebrations, were already seated. We exchanged pleasantries and I put my bag with my computer and typed spiritual journey next to my chair. I offered to show the approaching- encyclopedic note system I am making on Judaism in my computer, but no one took me up on it. They all know by now, I guess, that I live in my head. They wanted to know how I live in my life!
I told them I had written originally a twelve page spiritual journey to read aloud to them, but forced myself to cut out all the entertaining stories and pared it down to five pages of actual spiritual searching and growth.
I read the journey. I stumbled a few times at first because I was nervous. A copy of it is below, minus a few sentences removed in consideration of the privacy of those involved. The bet din smiled, chuckled, nodded and looked thoughtful in all the right places. Rabbi Yitz put his hand on his heart at the end and said thank you to me. They asked me a number of questions about how I was going to bring Judaism home. Reading was dandy, but I needed observance now.
So I told them David and I enjoyed observing Shabbat. We’ve been lighting candles, eating a nice dinner, going to services and not working for money. A couple weeks ago we talked about ways we could increase our observance. We decided to keep our cell phones on – because not only do we still text and call each other since we do not yet live together, but also because we do not want to exclude our non-Jewish friends and family members. We allow ourselves to use computers for Jewish study. We decided I should confine my school studies to topics of communal, spiritual and emotional issues. For instance, that morning I wrote a paper on whether Muhamad Muhamud, the bombing suspect in Portland, was coerced into illegal behavior by the FBI.
We talked about our upcoming move to a farmette an hour away. I said we were hoping to find another couple nearby to carpool with to services and classes. They brightened; they knew a family who lived very close to our new house.
Rabbi Yitz said he would miss us if we didn’t make it to Torah Study often. He would miss our heart. (I thought about that later – our heart. David’s and my heart. We are an entity, stronger together than when apart.)
We intend to make our home a place of Jewish study and Shabbat dinners as often as possible. We will have a large kitchen, where it will be possible to reserve one entire cabinet for dishes and cookware used for meat. We have been keeping biblically kosher, but not Rabbinically kosher.
One of the bet din said, “But biblically kosher includes separating milk and meat. It is mentioned three times.”
I said, “Well, that depends on how you interpret that. If you interpret it as an injunction against additional cruelty to the mother…”
She said, “Then you should also not eat chicken and eggs together.” I had wondered about that, earlier, because Torah says you shall not take the eggs/young from the mother without shooing the mother away first. So now we have more to think about together. No chicken with eggs? No meat and milk? Separate dishes?
I said I didn’t know if we were going to take our dishes to the Mikveh since I wasn’t too keen yet about getting in it myself. Nor did I know if I was going to stab knives into the dirt to kasher them.
Rabbi Yitz looked interested. “Did you read Blue Greenburg? Because she explains the reasoning behind all the details of koshering beautifully. It really makes the practices meaningful.”
I told him I have gotten bits and pieces of how to kosher a kitchen from books by both ends of the Jewish spectrum, from Reform rabbis who think kosher is outdated to Ultra-Orthodox rabbis who want you to use two tablecloths if one person is eating meat and one eating milk and you don’t have two tables.
He asked about my personal daily practice. I told him I was feeling guilty because I hadn’t bothered to learn the Hebrew prayers. I have an unfortunate block of desire for memorizing something I didn’t fully understand. I thanked him for recommending Zalman, who said the main point was just to begin… in any language, even if my prayers began “Dear God”. (And they do!)
He asked me if I knew that a Reconstructionist conversion would not be accepted by some factions in Israel. He said it was unfortunate, because may in America would consider it a valid conversion. He and others were working to make it acceptable in Israel, also.
He asked me if I ever intended to go to Israel. I answered I didn’t want to live there, but was hoping to go and explore. I wanted to see all of how Jewish people lived, even the extremists who throw stones. I want to stand in front of the Wall and see all the hundreds of thousands of scraps of prayers… I am hoping to feel very moved. All three of the bet din members said I would be; they were. Rabbi Maurice said it was almost a duty of Jewish people no matter where they lived to support Israel, through tourism, through donations, through working for peace. We all need to make Israel a safe home for Jews.
Rabbi Yitz asked if I knew that I was joining a community that was likely to continue being persecuted and hated. I said I did know. I said that I was a better person when confronted with discrimination against a group of people than against myself alone. It prompted me to speak up, to write, to be brave and thoughtful in ways I could not when defending only myself. I said I was honored to be able to support the community Israel in my small way.
They shooed me out of the room to talk together. I went out to find David, who was full of questions I wasn’t yet ready to answer because I was suddenly nervous again. They called us back in a few minutes later. Rabbi Maurice was writing something on a form. I sat upright, arms clasped on the table until Joan laughed, “Are you waiting to find out if you passed?” They all chuckled. I relaxed and laughed, too. Of course I was. This was the culmination of more than half a life of searching.
Rabbi Yitz said I passed and that this bet din was more a formality than anything else, because they already felt I was Jewish and part of the community. Rabbi Maurice said he would send the form in to a safekeeping place in Pennsylvania as well as keep one here at TBI. After the mikveh, I would get a certificate.
David clasped my hand, beaming, as everyone wished me mazel tov.
We made a circle, all of us with our arms around each other. Rabbi Yitz offered a blessing in which he said the community of Israel had been waiting for me to join them!
When we stepped back, I told them they had just given me that other piece of paper for my pocket.
Several books about conversion prepared me for a bet din (a panel of rabbis or at least one rabbi with with community lay leaders) to ask me questions about learning, motivation, lifestyle, etc. Mentally, I knew I was well prepared. So why was I sweating? (In February!) My fiancé was not allowed in the room, but he stayed in the lobby because he didn’t want to wait at home, wondering what was going on!
Rabbi Yitz ushered me into a room where Rabbi Maurice and Joan Bayliss, a lay leader who sings (beautifully!) for holiday celebrations, were already seated. We exchanged pleasantries and I put my bag with my computer and typed spiritual journey next to my chair. I offered to show the approaching- encyclopedic note system I am making on Judaism in my computer, but no one took me up on it. They all know by now, I guess, that I live in my head. They wanted to know how I live in my life!
I told them I had written originally a twelve page spiritual journey to read aloud to them, but forced myself to cut out all the entertaining stories and pared it down to five pages of actual spiritual searching and growth.
I read the journey. I stumbled a few times at first because I was nervous. A copy of it is below, minus a few sentences removed in consideration of the privacy of those involved. The bet din smiled, chuckled, nodded and looked thoughtful in all the right places. Rabbi Yitz put his hand on his heart at the end and said thank you to me. They asked me a number of questions about how I was going to bring Judaism home. Reading was dandy, but I needed observance now.
So I told them David and I enjoyed observing Shabbat. We’ve been lighting candles, eating a nice dinner, going to services and not working for money. A couple weeks ago we talked about ways we could increase our observance. We decided to keep our cell phones on – because not only do we still text and call each other since we do not yet live together, but also because we do not want to exclude our non-Jewish friends and family members. We allow ourselves to use computers for Jewish study. We decided I should confine my school studies to topics of communal, spiritual and emotional issues. For instance, that morning I wrote a paper on whether Muhamad Muhamud, the bombing suspect in Portland, was coerced into illegal behavior by the FBI.
We talked about our upcoming move to a farmette an hour away. I said we were hoping to find another couple nearby to carpool with to services and classes. They brightened; they knew a family who lived very close to our new house.
Rabbi Yitz said he would miss us if we didn’t make it to Torah Study often. He would miss our heart. (I thought about that later – our heart. David’s and my heart. We are an entity, stronger together than when apart.)
We intend to make our home a place of Jewish study and Shabbat dinners as often as possible. We will have a large kitchen, where it will be possible to reserve one entire cabinet for dishes and cookware used for meat. We have been keeping biblically kosher, but not Rabbinically kosher.
One of the bet din said, “But biblically kosher includes separating milk and meat. It is mentioned three times.”
I said, “Well, that depends on how you interpret that. If you interpret it as an injunction against additional cruelty to the mother…”
She said, “Then you should also not eat chicken and eggs together.” I had wondered about that, earlier, because Torah says you shall not take the eggs/young from the mother without shooing the mother away first. So now we have more to think about together. No chicken with eggs? No meat and milk? Separate dishes?
I said I didn’t know if we were going to take our dishes to the Mikveh since I wasn’t too keen yet about getting in it myself. Nor did I know if I was going to stab knives into the dirt to kasher them.
Rabbi Yitz looked interested. “Did you read Blue Greenburg? Because she explains the reasoning behind all the details of koshering beautifully. It really makes the practices meaningful.”
I told him I have gotten bits and pieces of how to kosher a kitchen from books by both ends of the Jewish spectrum, from Reform rabbis who think kosher is outdated to Ultra-Orthodox rabbis who want you to use two tablecloths if one person is eating meat and one eating milk and you don’t have two tables.
He asked about my personal daily practice. I told him I was feeling guilty because I hadn’t bothered to learn the Hebrew prayers. I have an unfortunate block of desire for memorizing something I didn’t fully understand. I thanked him for recommending Zalman, who said the main point was just to begin… in any language, even if my prayers began “Dear God”. (And they do!)
He asked me if I knew that a Reconstructionist conversion would not be accepted by some factions in Israel. He said it was unfortunate, because may in America would consider it a valid conversion. He and others were working to make it acceptable in Israel, also.
He asked me if I ever intended to go to Israel. I answered I didn’t want to live there, but was hoping to go and explore. I wanted to see all of how Jewish people lived, even the extremists who throw stones. I want to stand in front of the Wall and see all the hundreds of thousands of scraps of prayers… I am hoping to feel very moved. All three of the bet din members said I would be; they were. Rabbi Maurice said it was almost a duty of Jewish people no matter where they lived to support Israel, through tourism, through donations, through working for peace. We all need to make Israel a safe home for Jews.
Rabbi Yitz asked if I knew that I was joining a community that was likely to continue being persecuted and hated. I said I did know. I said that I was a better person when confronted with discrimination against a group of people than against myself alone. It prompted me to speak up, to write, to be brave and thoughtful in ways I could not when defending only myself. I said I was honored to be able to support the community Israel in my small way.
They shooed me out of the room to talk together. I went out to find David, who was full of questions I wasn’t yet ready to answer because I was suddenly nervous again. They called us back in a few minutes later. Rabbi Maurice was writing something on a form. I sat upright, arms clasped on the table until Joan laughed, “Are you waiting to find out if you passed?” They all chuckled. I relaxed and laughed, too. Of course I was. This was the culmination of more than half a life of searching.
Rabbi Yitz said I passed and that this bet din was more a formality than anything else, because they already felt I was Jewish and part of the community. Rabbi Maurice said he would send the form in to a safekeeping place in Pennsylvania as well as keep one here at TBI. After the mikveh, I would get a certificate.
David clasped my hand, beaming, as everyone wished me mazel tov.
We made a circle, all of us with our arms around each other. Rabbi Yitz offered a blessing in which he said the community of Israel had been waiting for me to join them!
When we stepped back, I told them they had just given me that other piece of paper for my pocket.
Spiritual Journey
I have removed a few paragraphs that I read to the rabbis in order to respect the privacy of those involved.
Otherwise, here is the spiritual journey I read aloud at my bet din.
Spiritual Journey
Both of my parents grew up in religious households, but they raised me in a completely secular environment. My next door neighbor first described angels to me when I was 8. I ran inside and asked my mother if angels were real. Her answer: "Angels are real if you believe they are!"
Although I was afraid of any crowd consisting of more than two people, I started asking schoolmates if I could tag along to their various places of worship. I visited a large Catholic church first. My friend confessed to someone who didn’t know her middle name but expected to be called Father. I was favorably impressed by the architecture, but negatively by the saints people prayed to for various reasons like getting well and selling a house. God was atop an enormous staircase, with uncountable religious officials blocking the way. Then there were saints, Mary, Jesus and finally God.
Seeking a new perspective as an adult, I visited the National Cathedral twice. I lingered in the blue marble room where a white marble Mary bristled like a porcupine with gilded rays, searching the faces of other women present. I saw mostly boredom, concentration and impatience with the wrigglings of children, but on a couple of faces, I saw dewy transcendence.
I wanted to feel what those women felt. I also unrealistically wished for a dramatic vision like I had during my epileptic fits. Since I felt nothing, I wanted to belt out “It Ain’t Necessarily So” from Porgy and Bess. Maybe if God were present in the Cathedral, He would rattle those magnificent stained glass windows in answer.
I continued to visit churches until I was 30. I usually felt like Huckleberry Finn. I toured the public part of the Mormon Tabernacle in Maryland. I whispered to a guard: did he know David Ben Gurion was converted to Mormonism posthumously? I climbed aboard a Moonie bus, where I very cautiously nibbled on a cookie. I attended an End Times lecture on campus. I engaged in a friendly debate on vegetarianism with an orange-robed man at Dulles Airport. I listened aghast as a Moonie woman in a sushi bar described her marriage to a man she had never met in California. She said she loved him. I wondered at the cost of the gilded dome of the Buddhist Temple in northern Virginia. I enjoyed the rose gardens and chants in the Franciscan Monastery in DC. (I grinned over the Chuck Taylors and Nikes the monks wore under their plain brown robes.) I pondered the charisma of Jim Jones and the Bakers. I read the King James Bible four times and the New Revised Standard twice, cover to cover, wincing often. I sought out religious paintings in the National and Virginia galleries of art. I read about Buddhism, Shintoism and Native American beliefs. I became friends with Rastafarian musicians in Richmond, even visiting their makeshift church on the third floor of an un-airconditioned brownstone on the day Louis Farrakhan spoke there. The band told him I was cool, even though I never partook, because I was a dj for a reggae radio show.
At 21, while driving through Maryland, I saw a synagogue and impulsively pulled into the parking lot. I had never attended a single service; in fact, I had virtually no experience with anyone Jewish. (There was one girl in high school who was too thin for her enormous glasses and boys would yank her gym shorts down to see if she had any pubic hair.) I can’t say what motivated me to tell the office staff I wanted to join. A woman disdainfully ushered me into an office where I spoke with a man I assume was the rabbi. He said I needed a mother, not a new religion. Embarrassed, I left and didn't set foot in a synagogue again for 23 years! It occurred to me only recently that since I was very thin and looked 15, perhaps he meant what he said literally.
I was married briefly to a Buddhist who rotated bouts of drinking with bouts of meditating in front of an altar with candles that made me wheeze. I was also married briefly to a Shinto who didn’t participate in any religious ceremonies.
I dated the son of a minister from a Baptist church in a poor neighborhood. I attended Revival and was impressed that the congregation was so involved. The minister, in a beautiful tenor, spoke of peace, love and helping family and neighbors quit their vices. The congregants sang gloriously, arms around each other, sweating, smiling and crying. It was better than a movie. I wanted to be saved, too. But when Revival was over, they sat quietly in their pews, listening or nodding off. Within two weeks, I was bored.
I also dated the son of a Methodist minister. Every sermon he gave moved me. I thought they came easily to him, but when I caught him frowning in his studio, he told me he often spent 15 or more hours on them every week. He wished I believed in the divinity of Jesus, but he knew better than to try to convince me. (Once I cornered him and asked, since Jesus kept kosher and said "I came not to change the law," why was a whole new religion based around him?)
I believed that not God Himself, but the searching and longing for God made people like this minister good. God no longer reached out to us because we made a terrible mess of religion. I myself only felt God in the absence of other people. When I moved away from big Virginia cities out into the country, I looked at the stars and felt God.
After moving, I stopped visiting churches, thinking since I had little talent for religion, I could be excused for expending little effort. I did begin to pray in thanks, but never for assistance. I thought praying for favors was like putting money in a celestial slot machine. The machine had no reason to care what I wanted and the odds were great I wouldn’t receive it.
I started telling people I was a secular Jew while I lived on the farm in Virginia. When I got pigs, I thought, “I shouldn’t be doing this”… but I made money on them. While eating sandwiches with health conscious Christian friends, I was tempted to ask if they knew how the Ezekiel 4:9 bread was baked.
After I moved to Oregon to be near Mom, I began having dreams about being Jewish. They were rare at first, but frequent by the summer of 2009. After a major health scare in September, the dreams became relentless, as if I were being nagged. In one of these dreams I was lobbying on behalf of Jewish interests in Congress. In another, a public figure I have admired for a decade divorced his wife and asked me to marry him; I said I could not because he was Christian and I was Jewish! I told him my religion was as important to me as his was to him and I knew we'd never be happy.
During my recovery, I was visited by people of multiple religions, trying to convert and save me in case I died. They came to my home and both of my jobs. I told them I was Jewish, which instead of stemming the tide of proselytizers, actually increased the flow of Jehovah’s Witnesses. One afternoon a Baptist lady who had herself come to preach to me (and told me I wasn’t a very good Jew) watched three people come in during one hour. She said, "Wow, God must really want you!"
The light bulb came on.
I switched it off.
Weeks later, I started reading about Judaism online. I bought the CD "Songs in the Key of Hanukah" and played YLove’s Yiddish rap over and over so I could sing along! I watched videos of Hasids performing a dance that resembled a Cossack dance my father used to do after a few drinks.
During Christmas, I was visited by a Jehovah's Witness at my night job. He preached for hours, leaving when morning customers arrived. The following night he came back. I told him that I was happy with Judaism and didn't want to endure another three hours of his proselytizing. He unleashed a violent torrent of "Jesus killer" insults until I got my mace out and threatened to call the police. He wrote a seven page letter to my employer saying I behaved badly towards him because I felt guilty for killing Jesus. I made a copy just in case he turned into a stalker and I needed court evidence later. Thankfully, I haven't seen him since.
On January 3rd, the first day I came home from the library with a stack of six big reference-type books, the excessive dreams and attempts to convert me stopped. I soon exhausted both county libraries and began buying books whenever I found them inexpensively on Amazon. By this time I wasn’t doing it to keep the proselytizers away. I was hooked.
I was still struggling to find God when I found Maimonides, who may have considered himself the next best thing. Maimonides said no human could understand God. This worked for me; I reasoned that if humans were capable of knowing God, we would have only one religion. I decided there was something holy in the attempt to learn the unknowable.
In the book Finding a Home for the Soul, Temple Beth Israel was mentioned favorably so I decided to move to Eugene. I enrolled in TBI’s Intro to Torah class while I still lived an hour away. I was invigorated, surrounded by real Jews (!) in a real synagogue! I cornered Rabbi Maurice after the third class and told him I wanted to convert. I was disappointed to hear I'd have to wait a year!
The Egyptian Habiru means "stateless people." The Greek diaspore means milkweed. Milkweed seeds, in a tuft of down-feather fuzz, travel far from the mother plant. For nearly my whole life I wandered from city to city and through assorted religious institutions. Only my hair stayed the same. After talking with Rabbi Maurice, I dreamed that I cut my hair short. I understood this to mean my conversion would require obvious personal change.
I published an article on Biblical Kashrut laws in Douglas County News. I also posted it online on my food blog, which has a pretty decent readership, and on my Jewish blog, which does not. This was my public coming out.
I asked my family about the religious backgrounds of our relatives, who have lived in New Mexico and Oregon 200 years. Those for whom we do have religious records were Christian – except for one on my mother’s side. He might not count, though, since he converted to Episcopalianism and was buried with honors by the Ku Klux Klan.
The first Friday night after I moved near Eugene, I drove to town, armed with my Kol Haneshamah and Torah, but suddenly decided I was underdressed. I went home, said a little prayer over wine I’d bought just for my first service, blessed my dogs to be like Ephraim and Manasseh and felt ashamed of myself. In the morning I procrastinated, but finally went to Torah Study for the first time. I was late. I tiptoed in and sat off to the side. Rabbi Yitz motioned me to the table, where there was an empty seat between two men. I blushed, but within a few moments, I was participating in the discussion.
After class, I sat by myself in the sanctuary. Rabbi Yitz came over to introduce himself. He said I may be disappointed because sometimes we didn’t even have a minyan at Saturday morning services. I answered that I was scared of crowds. He brightened, “Well, then, this is the service for you!”
I was stunned when a man with tattoos and leathers was called to carry the Torah scroll! Apparently I wasn’t underdressed the night before!
I was also amazed by an elegant Sephardic looking girl at her bar mitzvah in June. She sang hundreds of words in Hebrew. She carried the Torah scroll in the procession. She gave a devar. I checked the expressions of the others attending. I noticed the man in tattoos and leathers. His face shone with sweet pleasure. No one else looked surprised over the poise, intelligence and lovely voice of this young girl. This is not an unusual occurrence, I thought. Singing before us was justification for the extraordinary effort to keep the Jewish faith and culture alive.
I confessed to a friend at the conclusion of service that I wanted to give a devar, but felt inadequate. It seemed to me that Jewish people were born with the confidence to speak and sing beautifully before a crowd. Perhaps, I said, the culture creates that poise. He smiled, “If you come to services for ten years, you learn.”
In Torah study on Saturday July 17th, Rabbi Yitz, who came to Oregon in a VW bus in 1971, confessed his discomfort in knowing that some anti-Semitism is influenced by how Jews are portrayed during a surface reading of the Torah. I was glad to hear him speak thus. It bothered me, for instance, that Hitler adopted the name of Pharaoh’s murderous plans, “The Final Solution.”
Something I have struggled with my entire life is feeling like I’m just another speck of dust here on earth – I never had the other piece of paper, that I was also the stars. Only dust. It’s hard to be motivated to do much if you think it won’t matter. Early in my studies I read that we are here to deal with the character flaw we need most to work on, and that Torah law gives us the tools. It is true. Torah prescribes many small virtuous actions, which if done daily by everyone, would build a society worthy of the stars in the heavens.
During the Tish’a B’Av service, I wondered if some ancestor of mine caused pain to an ancestor of someone in the room. I remembered the conclusion of Middlemarch. The protagonist, an intelligent woman with grand desires, contented herself with reaching out kindly to her community. On the way home, I thought, can I begin a little domino effect? If I become able to radiate peace, can I influence others to radiate peace? First I must find peace myself, which will require being satisfied with who I am.
Also as I drove home I decided to commemorate the 9th of Av by eating small quantities of flavorless livestock fodder like people ate in concentration camps. I didn’t know that fasting was part of the holy day. Just in case there was a Heaven, I wanted to show an honest effort to understand the pain of those in it who suffered.
For several days I ate rice or potatoes. I had no revelations from on high, but I wasn’t exactly starving, either. On the 4th morning I was reading a Talmudic discussion about Passover. As they were wont to do, the rabbis digressed. Could people be responsible for mice who carried hametz into their homes? A gluttonous man would make his wife a widow, his children orphans and bring “himself, his children and all his grandchildren for generations into disrepute…Abbaye said people will call his children ‘Son of the oven heater’… Rav Papa said ‘Son of the pan licker’… Rav Shemaia said ‘Son of the one who collapsed on the ground.’”
Although I laughed, it occurred to me that no one would ever call anyone “son of a pan licker” today. We are all pan lickers, unless we are instead bottle drainers and match lighters. Although the quality of my diet is excellent, I eat because food tastes good, I am bored or because I am trying to substitute food for sleep. I suffer from subtle gluttony. This was my revelation. I turned this light bulb off, too.
I finally worked up the nerve to attend Erev Shabbat services on July 23rd. David and I said hi in the foyer and sat together. We didn’t know each other yet and spoke very little. The mandolin in Adon Olam reminded me of my father’s balalaika music; I tried to hide my tears from David. He saw and insisted I not drive home. So we walked in a park. Within the hour, I began wondering if he could be my beshert. I mention this because our love inspired several major spiritual epiphanies.
When I later read that God arranges marriages, I was stunned by the thought that David could have been preordained to marry me before I was even born. Moreover, if God arranges marriages, He must indeed care how we live our lives and even becomes an interested third party in the marriage. I stopped wondering why it took so long for us to find each other. David had been coming to synagogue off and on for only three years; he got serious a few months before meeting me. You’re already familiar with my talent for avoidance. Once we began coming to services and classes, reading, praying and working to improve ourselves, then we merited each other.
David is attracted to Hasidism. At first I was afraid to be a Hasidic wife; I read books in which women, like female goats, were always pregnant or in milk. I watched videos in which grooms placed on their brides veils so thick they could have been dishcloths. Women who could neither see nor be seen leaned on others on the way to the Huppah. As I read more and watched lectures on Torah Café, I began to understand. I recently met an Orthodox and Hasidic wife; neither seems like they would stand for being blindfolded. I am no longer afraid.
It is amazing how much braver and more social I have become in a year of living as a Jew. If I had come alone to the High Holy Days, when cars stretched around several blocks, I wouldn’t have even have gotten out of my car. Now I am itching to visit the synagogues in Ashland and Corvallis. One day I was daydreaming aloud about traveling in a motorhome to Jewish communities throughout the country, writing about the disparate ways Jewish people live and worship for one book and recording the stories of the children of immigrants for another. David told me I was like someone born again except that I wasn’t obnoxious.
I started posting devars on my blog, even though no one reads them. They are long, comparing and contrasting Torah and Midrash, and also contain a lot of my personal thoughts. I also posted a link to my epiphanies on love on Twitter, and within a week I had four rabbis following me. Perhaps one rabbi read it and liked it and sent it to another. Once a couple began following me, I became searchably Jewish! When a female rabbi chose to follow me, I thought, “Score!”
Several times I’ve caught myself wishing I had started this process earlier, when I was young enough and healthy enough for rabbinical school to be a viable option. I would like to learn more about the services themselves so I can eventually give a devar, sing a song, carry a scroll. Starting late has given my studies a sweetness I may not have felt as a Hebrew school student: I anticipate eagerly my future religious duties.
Otherwise, here is the spiritual journey I read aloud at my bet din.
Spiritual Journey
Both of my parents grew up in religious households, but they raised me in a completely secular environment. My next door neighbor first described angels to me when I was 8. I ran inside and asked my mother if angels were real. Her answer: "Angels are real if you believe they are!"
Although I was afraid of any crowd consisting of more than two people, I started asking schoolmates if I could tag along to their various places of worship. I visited a large Catholic church first. My friend confessed to someone who didn’t know her middle name but expected to be called Father. I was favorably impressed by the architecture, but negatively by the saints people prayed to for various reasons like getting well and selling a house. God was atop an enormous staircase, with uncountable religious officials blocking the way. Then there were saints, Mary, Jesus and finally God.
Seeking a new perspective as an adult, I visited the National Cathedral twice. I lingered in the blue marble room where a white marble Mary bristled like a porcupine with gilded rays, searching the faces of other women present. I saw mostly boredom, concentration and impatience with the wrigglings of children, but on a couple of faces, I saw dewy transcendence.
I wanted to feel what those women felt. I also unrealistically wished for a dramatic vision like I had during my epileptic fits. Since I felt nothing, I wanted to belt out “It Ain’t Necessarily So” from Porgy and Bess. Maybe if God were present in the Cathedral, He would rattle those magnificent stained glass windows in answer.
I continued to visit churches until I was 30. I usually felt like Huckleberry Finn. I toured the public part of the Mormon Tabernacle in Maryland. I whispered to a guard: did he know David Ben Gurion was converted to Mormonism posthumously? I climbed aboard a Moonie bus, where I very cautiously nibbled on a cookie. I attended an End Times lecture on campus. I engaged in a friendly debate on vegetarianism with an orange-robed man at Dulles Airport. I listened aghast as a Moonie woman in a sushi bar described her marriage to a man she had never met in California. She said she loved him. I wondered at the cost of the gilded dome of the Buddhist Temple in northern Virginia. I enjoyed the rose gardens and chants in the Franciscan Monastery in DC. (I grinned over the Chuck Taylors and Nikes the monks wore under their plain brown robes.) I pondered the charisma of Jim Jones and the Bakers. I read the King James Bible four times and the New Revised Standard twice, cover to cover, wincing often. I sought out religious paintings in the National and Virginia galleries of art. I read about Buddhism, Shintoism and Native American beliefs. I became friends with Rastafarian musicians in Richmond, even visiting their makeshift church on the third floor of an un-airconditioned brownstone on the day Louis Farrakhan spoke there. The band told him I was cool, even though I never partook, because I was a dj for a reggae radio show.
At 21, while driving through Maryland, I saw a synagogue and impulsively pulled into the parking lot. I had never attended a single service; in fact, I had virtually no experience with anyone Jewish. (There was one girl in high school who was too thin for her enormous glasses and boys would yank her gym shorts down to see if she had any pubic hair.) I can’t say what motivated me to tell the office staff I wanted to join. A woman disdainfully ushered me into an office where I spoke with a man I assume was the rabbi. He said I needed a mother, not a new religion. Embarrassed, I left and didn't set foot in a synagogue again for 23 years! It occurred to me only recently that since I was very thin and looked 15, perhaps he meant what he said literally.
I was married briefly to a Buddhist who rotated bouts of drinking with bouts of meditating in front of an altar with candles that made me wheeze. I was also married briefly to a Shinto who didn’t participate in any religious ceremonies.
I dated the son of a minister from a Baptist church in a poor neighborhood. I attended Revival and was impressed that the congregation was so involved. The minister, in a beautiful tenor, spoke of peace, love and helping family and neighbors quit their vices. The congregants sang gloriously, arms around each other, sweating, smiling and crying. It was better than a movie. I wanted to be saved, too. But when Revival was over, they sat quietly in their pews, listening or nodding off. Within two weeks, I was bored.
I also dated the son of a Methodist minister. Every sermon he gave moved me. I thought they came easily to him, but when I caught him frowning in his studio, he told me he often spent 15 or more hours on them every week. He wished I believed in the divinity of Jesus, but he knew better than to try to convince me. (Once I cornered him and asked, since Jesus kept kosher and said "I came not to change the law," why was a whole new religion based around him?)
I believed that not God Himself, but the searching and longing for God made people like this minister good. God no longer reached out to us because we made a terrible mess of religion. I myself only felt God in the absence of other people. When I moved away from big Virginia cities out into the country, I looked at the stars and felt God.
After moving, I stopped visiting churches, thinking since I had little talent for religion, I could be excused for expending little effort. I did begin to pray in thanks, but never for assistance. I thought praying for favors was like putting money in a celestial slot machine. The machine had no reason to care what I wanted and the odds were great I wouldn’t receive it.
I started telling people I was a secular Jew while I lived on the farm in Virginia. When I got pigs, I thought, “I shouldn’t be doing this”… but I made money on them. While eating sandwiches with health conscious Christian friends, I was tempted to ask if they knew how the Ezekiel 4:9 bread was baked.
After I moved to Oregon to be near Mom, I began having dreams about being Jewish. They were rare at first, but frequent by the summer of 2009. After a major health scare in September, the dreams became relentless, as if I were being nagged. In one of these dreams I was lobbying on behalf of Jewish interests in Congress. In another, a public figure I have admired for a decade divorced his wife and asked me to marry him; I said I could not because he was Christian and I was Jewish! I told him my religion was as important to me as his was to him and I knew we'd never be happy.
During my recovery, I was visited by people of multiple religions, trying to convert and save me in case I died. They came to my home and both of my jobs. I told them I was Jewish, which instead of stemming the tide of proselytizers, actually increased the flow of Jehovah’s Witnesses. One afternoon a Baptist lady who had herself come to preach to me (and told me I wasn’t a very good Jew) watched three people come in during one hour. She said, "Wow, God must really want you!"
The light bulb came on.
I switched it off.
Weeks later, I started reading about Judaism online. I bought the CD "Songs in the Key of Hanukah" and played YLove’s Yiddish rap over and over so I could sing along! I watched videos of Hasids performing a dance that resembled a Cossack dance my father used to do after a few drinks.
During Christmas, I was visited by a Jehovah's Witness at my night job. He preached for hours, leaving when morning customers arrived. The following night he came back. I told him that I was happy with Judaism and didn't want to endure another three hours of his proselytizing. He unleashed a violent torrent of "Jesus killer" insults until I got my mace out and threatened to call the police. He wrote a seven page letter to my employer saying I behaved badly towards him because I felt guilty for killing Jesus. I made a copy just in case he turned into a stalker and I needed court evidence later. Thankfully, I haven't seen him since.
On January 3rd, the first day I came home from the library with a stack of six big reference-type books, the excessive dreams and attempts to convert me stopped. I soon exhausted both county libraries and began buying books whenever I found them inexpensively on Amazon. By this time I wasn’t doing it to keep the proselytizers away. I was hooked.
I was still struggling to find God when I found Maimonides, who may have considered himself the next best thing. Maimonides said no human could understand God. This worked for me; I reasoned that if humans were capable of knowing God, we would have only one religion. I decided there was something holy in the attempt to learn the unknowable.
In the book Finding a Home for the Soul, Temple Beth Israel was mentioned favorably so I decided to move to Eugene. I enrolled in TBI’s Intro to Torah class while I still lived an hour away. I was invigorated, surrounded by real Jews (!) in a real synagogue! I cornered Rabbi Maurice after the third class and told him I wanted to convert. I was disappointed to hear I'd have to wait a year!
The Egyptian Habiru means "stateless people." The Greek diaspore means milkweed. Milkweed seeds, in a tuft of down-feather fuzz, travel far from the mother plant. For nearly my whole life I wandered from city to city and through assorted religious institutions. Only my hair stayed the same. After talking with Rabbi Maurice, I dreamed that I cut my hair short. I understood this to mean my conversion would require obvious personal change.
I published an article on Biblical Kashrut laws in Douglas County News. I also posted it online on my food blog, which has a pretty decent readership, and on my Jewish blog, which does not. This was my public coming out.
I asked my family about the religious backgrounds of our relatives, who have lived in New Mexico and Oregon 200 years. Those for whom we do have religious records were Christian – except for one on my mother’s side. He might not count, though, since he converted to Episcopalianism and was buried with honors by the Ku Klux Klan.
The first Friday night after I moved near Eugene, I drove to town, armed with my Kol Haneshamah and Torah, but suddenly decided I was underdressed. I went home, said a little prayer over wine I’d bought just for my first service, blessed my dogs to be like Ephraim and Manasseh and felt ashamed of myself. In the morning I procrastinated, but finally went to Torah Study for the first time. I was late. I tiptoed in and sat off to the side. Rabbi Yitz motioned me to the table, where there was an empty seat between two men. I blushed, but within a few moments, I was participating in the discussion.
After class, I sat by myself in the sanctuary. Rabbi Yitz came over to introduce himself. He said I may be disappointed because sometimes we didn’t even have a minyan at Saturday morning services. I answered that I was scared of crowds. He brightened, “Well, then, this is the service for you!”
I was stunned when a man with tattoos and leathers was called to carry the Torah scroll! Apparently I wasn’t underdressed the night before!
I was also amazed by an elegant Sephardic looking girl at her bar mitzvah in June. She sang hundreds of words in Hebrew. She carried the Torah scroll in the procession. She gave a devar. I checked the expressions of the others attending. I noticed the man in tattoos and leathers. His face shone with sweet pleasure. No one else looked surprised over the poise, intelligence and lovely voice of this young girl. This is not an unusual occurrence, I thought. Singing before us was justification for the extraordinary effort to keep the Jewish faith and culture alive.
I confessed to a friend at the conclusion of service that I wanted to give a devar, but felt inadequate. It seemed to me that Jewish people were born with the confidence to speak and sing beautifully before a crowd. Perhaps, I said, the culture creates that poise. He smiled, “If you come to services for ten years, you learn.”
In Torah study on Saturday July 17th, Rabbi Yitz, who came to Oregon in a VW bus in 1971, confessed his discomfort in knowing that some anti-Semitism is influenced by how Jews are portrayed during a surface reading of the Torah. I was glad to hear him speak thus. It bothered me, for instance, that Hitler adopted the name of Pharaoh’s murderous plans, “The Final Solution.”
Something I have struggled with my entire life is feeling like I’m just another speck of dust here on earth – I never had the other piece of paper, that I was also the stars. Only dust. It’s hard to be motivated to do much if you think it won’t matter. Early in my studies I read that we are here to deal with the character flaw we need most to work on, and that Torah law gives us the tools. It is true. Torah prescribes many small virtuous actions, which if done daily by everyone, would build a society worthy of the stars in the heavens.
During the Tish’a B’Av service, I wondered if some ancestor of mine caused pain to an ancestor of someone in the room. I remembered the conclusion of Middlemarch. The protagonist, an intelligent woman with grand desires, contented herself with reaching out kindly to her community. On the way home, I thought, can I begin a little domino effect? If I become able to radiate peace, can I influence others to radiate peace? First I must find peace myself, which will require being satisfied with who I am.
Also as I drove home I decided to commemorate the 9th of Av by eating small quantities of flavorless livestock fodder like people ate in concentration camps. I didn’t know that fasting was part of the holy day. Just in case there was a Heaven, I wanted to show an honest effort to understand the pain of those in it who suffered.
For several days I ate rice or potatoes. I had no revelations from on high, but I wasn’t exactly starving, either. On the 4th morning I was reading a Talmudic discussion about Passover. As they were wont to do, the rabbis digressed. Could people be responsible for mice who carried hametz into their homes? A gluttonous man would make his wife a widow, his children orphans and bring “himself, his children and all his grandchildren for generations into disrepute…Abbaye said people will call his children ‘Son of the oven heater’… Rav Papa said ‘Son of the pan licker’… Rav Shemaia said ‘Son of the one who collapsed on the ground.’”
Although I laughed, it occurred to me that no one would ever call anyone “son of a pan licker” today. We are all pan lickers, unless we are instead bottle drainers and match lighters. Although the quality of my diet is excellent, I eat because food tastes good, I am bored or because I am trying to substitute food for sleep. I suffer from subtle gluttony. This was my revelation. I turned this light bulb off, too.
I finally worked up the nerve to attend Erev Shabbat services on July 23rd. David and I said hi in the foyer and sat together. We didn’t know each other yet and spoke very little. The mandolin in Adon Olam reminded me of my father’s balalaika music; I tried to hide my tears from David. He saw and insisted I not drive home. So we walked in a park. Within the hour, I began wondering if he could be my beshert. I mention this because our love inspired several major spiritual epiphanies.
When I later read that God arranges marriages, I was stunned by the thought that David could have been preordained to marry me before I was even born. Moreover, if God arranges marriages, He must indeed care how we live our lives and even becomes an interested third party in the marriage. I stopped wondering why it took so long for us to find each other. David had been coming to synagogue off and on for only three years; he got serious a few months before meeting me. You’re already familiar with my talent for avoidance. Once we began coming to services and classes, reading, praying and working to improve ourselves, then we merited each other.
David is attracted to Hasidism. At first I was afraid to be a Hasidic wife; I read books in which women, like female goats, were always pregnant or in milk. I watched videos in which grooms placed on their brides veils so thick they could have been dishcloths. Women who could neither see nor be seen leaned on others on the way to the Huppah. As I read more and watched lectures on Torah Café, I began to understand. I recently met an Orthodox and Hasidic wife; neither seems like they would stand for being blindfolded. I am no longer afraid.
It is amazing how much braver and more social I have become in a year of living as a Jew. If I had come alone to the High Holy Days, when cars stretched around several blocks, I wouldn’t have even have gotten out of my car. Now I am itching to visit the synagogues in Ashland and Corvallis. One day I was daydreaming aloud about traveling in a motorhome to Jewish communities throughout the country, writing about the disparate ways Jewish people live and worship for one book and recording the stories of the children of immigrants for another. David told me I was like someone born again except that I wasn’t obnoxious.
I started posting devars on my blog, even though no one reads them. They are long, comparing and contrasting Torah and Midrash, and also contain a lot of my personal thoughts. I also posted a link to my epiphanies on love on Twitter, and within a week I had four rabbis following me. Perhaps one rabbi read it and liked it and sent it to another. Once a couple began following me, I became searchably Jewish! When a female rabbi chose to follow me, I thought, “Score!”
Several times I’ve caught myself wishing I had started this process earlier, when I was young enough and healthy enough for rabbinical school to be a viable option. I would like to learn more about the services themselves so I can eventually give a devar, sing a song, carry a scroll. Starting late has given my studies a sweetness I may not have felt as a Hebrew school student: I anticipate eagerly my future religious duties.
Torah Portion Exodus 25.1-27.19 Terumah
Torah Portion Exodus 25.1-27.19 Terumah
The study materials for this parsha: JPS Tanakh, Etz Hayim, The Midrash Says: S'mos. I did not go to TBI Torah Study this week.
Terumah (t'rumah) means gifts, especially goods set aside specifically for sacred purpose. Etz Hayim says t'rumah comes from the root for elevate. When one gives to God, one not only physically lifts the object up in offering, but also lifts oneself up to a higher level. (Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev). This parsha begins with God telling Moses the types of contributions the Israelites should bring to Moses, who will accept them on God's behalf. With these articles, the people were to build a sanctuary, "that I may dwell among them." Then specific directions follow for the size and ornamentation of the ark that will hold the Ten Commandment tablets, the cherubim, a table, a lampstand, etc. The word for dwell shakhan, literally means to rest rather than to live within.
When I first read this parsha, I was fascinated by the descriptions given. The sanctuary materials were very expensive items, and God wanted them used in very specific ways. One of the items God required was dolphin skins. In the desert? Etz Hayim says, however, that the Hebrew word t'hashim means dyed sheep or goat skins, which is certainly more reasonable! (So now the mystery is not why God would expect the people to be carrying dolphin skins with them in their desert wanderings, but why the Bible says He expected dolphin skins! I wonder if perhaps the dyed goat and sheep skins were a bluish gray, and were given a colloquial name that remained past our understanding of it, or if this were simply a poor translation. Midrash, however, says that these were unicorn skins.) The enormity of the physical labor demanded of vagabond people also amazed me.
Once I read this parsha once, I didn't feel a particular need to do anything other than skim it again. Then I read Kugel's Being a Jew, a conversation between a Sephardic Orthodox banker and his totally (at first) secular American nephew. When the nephew complained that he did not feel anything spiritual, The uncle said he needed to build a mishkan within his heart, to make space for God, before God would come in. How to do this? By saying the prayers, even before you understand them, by following halacha as much as possible. Thus, through action, you open a space to let God in. Rabbi Mendele Kotzker said The Shema says to place the words upon your heart because God recognizes that our hearts are not always open. But when we open our hearts, the words there will be able to drop in.
Armed with this understanding, I was able to read again with full kavanah.
One of the things that bothered me upon an earlier reading of Exodus is how people could receive the mind-blowing revelation at Sinai and then make and bow down to the Golden Calf! I'm sure I am not the only person whose jaw dropped in "how-could-they-be so-dumb" disbelief! With the reminder that even pious hearts are not always open, I was able to reach into myself to try to imagine the hearts of the Israelites.
These were people adrift a long, long time. Yes, they were redeemed from slavery. Yes, the received the grandest of revelations, a definitive proof of God's existence that so many long for. However, then they went back to their wandering. How anticlimatic could that have been! They were again hungry, thirsty, tired and dirty. Although they had Aaron and Miriam to help, they relied greatly on Moses... who left them to sit alone atop a mountain for 40 days, without even one phone call or text. Could some of them been whispering that Moses was dead? Or had abandoned them? What, then, would they do, a huge band of hungry and thirsty vagabonds?
Perhaps the incident of the Golden Calf has already happened; some rabbis argued that the order of the Torah was not necessarily chronological. (Midrash says the building of the Mishkan was presented before the sin of the Golden Calf to teach us that we must prepare in advance to rectify any sin we might do.) In any case, God recognized that the people were restless and that he was going to take Moses away. Without a spiritual leader among them, they might falter. So he gave them a project that would make them feel like active participants in their worship. The people responded with great generosity - giving not only valuables, but also their time and talents.
This was genius - not only occupying them while Moses was gone, but also giving them a structure that would be a source of great pride to them whenever they worshipped. Each Israelite family could say they donated something - gold jewelry, perhaps, their carving skill, or woven wool dyed in the rare colors blue, purple and crimson. (Remember, they had only natural sources for dye at that time. The rarity may also be why the corner fringes on prayer shawls are to be blue. The best blue at that time was produced by marine snails, which were of course difficult to obtain in the desert!)
What if every time I went in Temple Beth Israel, I saw something I had myself made? How could I not feel a sense of ownership as well as a sense of belonging?
The Rabbis said the mishkan was the reason the Israelites were instructed to take gold and other precious metals and stones from the Egyptians. God never intended these to be used by the Israelites for vain purposes such as their own personal ornamentation. Midrash says that the vast quantity of gold required is to atone for using gold to make the golden calf. It says that if not for the golden calf, a simple altar would have sufficed.
To show how important the tablets were, God required the ark to be made first. It contained three chests, with the inner and outer being made of gold and the middle, of wood. It had two long poles on each side to allow people to move it without touching it. These poles were slid through four rings, which Midrash says represent the four habits of a true Torah scholar: Torah study, mitzvos, good deeds and modesty. The rods were never to be removed from the rings, not even in camp. God asked for the people to make the ark, but only for the priestly class to make the menorah.. Midrash says this is because Torah study is available to all, but the priestly duties, symbolized by the menorah, were only available to a few. There is a nice drawing of the ark on page 245 of The Midrash Says: S'mos. The drawing includes the cherubim on top of the ark; they are not the fat little boy angels we are accustomed to seeing in paintings. The cherubim here do look young, maybe preteen, but they are not babies. Midrash says when God is pleased with us, they don't just merely look at each other, but embrace. When He is displeased, they turn their heads away from each other. When He speaks to the Israelites, His voice rises from between the cherubim.
The Midrash Says also has an illustration of the holder for the twelve loaves of bread to be offered to God (p. 257). It has removable loaf holder drawers, one atop another, and somewhat resembles and apothecary cabinet except the drawers are not covered. One family of kohanim was in charge of baking the bread every Friday and refilling the drawers, which were never to be empty. Of course, the Israelites were responsible for bringing the grain that would be baked.
The details here and later, in descriptions of the Temple, have been used in the creation of Jewish ceremonial objects ever since. The description of the menorah in Exodus 25:20 makes it clear that this is to be a very important ceremonial object, made of pure gold, most of it comprised of one piece of hammered work, not pieced together. I have earlier mentioned a special type of sage that looks like a candelabra. It is called Salvia Judaica - literally Save Jews. Here is a good picture of it: http://www.holidayinisrael.com/ViewPage.asp?lid=1&pid=289. Aaron and his sons only were to be in charge of lighting the menorah, again showing the importance of it. There were no candles of that time, so I assume that woven thread was used for wicks and needed to be replaced regularly. I am allergic to candle smoke, so maybe the answer to the candle lighting at home is not the battery operated candles we have now, but lamps with wicks, lit with a lighter rather than a match.
Midrash says that after God caused an ark and a bread offering table to descend from Heaven, Moses understood his directions and was able to copy them here on earth. However, the precision of the Menorah was too much for him, even after seeing one made in Heaven. So God allowed him to cast a brick of gold into a fire and from this, the Menorah emerged fully formed. This reminds me of the Golden Calf, which Aaron insisted sprang from the fire already made.
There is an illustration of the layout of the completed mishkan on 267, which disproves my belief that this was a small building, big enough for only three priests at a time, close up. This is a big affair, with a courtyard/tent of meeting as well as the inner chambers for the offerings and the ark. Although it had walls of woven cloth and leather, the frame was cedar wood. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to move it with them so many years. I don't recall reading about it's being on skids anywhere, but as a farm girl, I can tell you empirically that a very long hoop house (frame and cloth building) can be pulled by two draft horses if it is on skids (long wooden poles that are angled up so they don't dig into the soil and run lengthwise below any other piece of the building). I wonder if they removed the skins to lighten the load before pulling the building? And this leads me to a long daydream of how the entire party travelled; they must have taken apart their tents in the morning and laid components on the backs of horses and oxen, much as the American Indians did, stopping just before dark to set up their shelters again.
I moved across country once, camping every night. It sounds like a big hassle, but it was fun, even if we got stung by mosquitos in the few warm dusk hours, right before we froze in New Mexico, the state in which my wallet was stolen. Even if we got pulled over twice by cops who thought we might be hiding illegal aliens. I will never forget it. But then again, I only had to pack a small amount of water and food with me because I always knew I could get more.
The study materials for this parsha: JPS Tanakh, Etz Hayim, The Midrash Says: S'mos. I did not go to TBI Torah Study this week.
Terumah (t'rumah) means gifts, especially goods set aside specifically for sacred purpose. Etz Hayim says t'rumah comes from the root for elevate. When one gives to God, one not only physically lifts the object up in offering, but also lifts oneself up to a higher level. (Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev). This parsha begins with God telling Moses the types of contributions the Israelites should bring to Moses, who will accept them on God's behalf. With these articles, the people were to build a sanctuary, "that I may dwell among them." Then specific directions follow for the size and ornamentation of the ark that will hold the Ten Commandment tablets, the cherubim, a table, a lampstand, etc. The word for dwell shakhan, literally means to rest rather than to live within.
When I first read this parsha, I was fascinated by the descriptions given. The sanctuary materials were very expensive items, and God wanted them used in very specific ways. One of the items God required was dolphin skins. In the desert? Etz Hayim says, however, that the Hebrew word t'hashim means dyed sheep or goat skins, which is certainly more reasonable! (So now the mystery is not why God would expect the people to be carrying dolphin skins with them in their desert wanderings, but why the Bible says He expected dolphin skins! I wonder if perhaps the dyed goat and sheep skins were a bluish gray, and were given a colloquial name that remained past our understanding of it, or if this were simply a poor translation. Midrash, however, says that these were unicorn skins.) The enormity of the physical labor demanded of vagabond people also amazed me.
Once I read this parsha once, I didn't feel a particular need to do anything other than skim it again. Then I read Kugel's Being a Jew, a conversation between a Sephardic Orthodox banker and his totally (at first) secular American nephew. When the nephew complained that he did not feel anything spiritual, The uncle said he needed to build a mishkan within his heart, to make space for God, before God would come in. How to do this? By saying the prayers, even before you understand them, by following halacha as much as possible. Thus, through action, you open a space to let God in. Rabbi Mendele Kotzker said The Shema says to place the words upon your heart because God recognizes that our hearts are not always open. But when we open our hearts, the words there will be able to drop in.
Armed with this understanding, I was able to read again with full kavanah.
One of the things that bothered me upon an earlier reading of Exodus is how people could receive the mind-blowing revelation at Sinai and then make and bow down to the Golden Calf! I'm sure I am not the only person whose jaw dropped in "how-could-they-be so-dumb" disbelief! With the reminder that even pious hearts are not always open, I was able to reach into myself to try to imagine the hearts of the Israelites.
These were people adrift a long, long time. Yes, they were redeemed from slavery. Yes, the received the grandest of revelations, a definitive proof of God's existence that so many long for. However, then they went back to their wandering. How anticlimatic could that have been! They were again hungry, thirsty, tired and dirty. Although they had Aaron and Miriam to help, they relied greatly on Moses... who left them to sit alone atop a mountain for 40 days, without even one phone call or text. Could some of them been whispering that Moses was dead? Or had abandoned them? What, then, would they do, a huge band of hungry and thirsty vagabonds?
Perhaps the incident of the Golden Calf has already happened; some rabbis argued that the order of the Torah was not necessarily chronological. (Midrash says the building of the Mishkan was presented before the sin of the Golden Calf to teach us that we must prepare in advance to rectify any sin we might do.) In any case, God recognized that the people were restless and that he was going to take Moses away. Without a spiritual leader among them, they might falter. So he gave them a project that would make them feel like active participants in their worship. The people responded with great generosity - giving not only valuables, but also their time and talents.
This was genius - not only occupying them while Moses was gone, but also giving them a structure that would be a source of great pride to them whenever they worshipped. Each Israelite family could say they donated something - gold jewelry, perhaps, their carving skill, or woven wool dyed in the rare colors blue, purple and crimson. (Remember, they had only natural sources for dye at that time. The rarity may also be why the corner fringes on prayer shawls are to be blue. The best blue at that time was produced by marine snails, which were of course difficult to obtain in the desert!)
What if every time I went in Temple Beth Israel, I saw something I had myself made? How could I not feel a sense of ownership as well as a sense of belonging?
The Rabbis said the mishkan was the reason the Israelites were instructed to take gold and other precious metals and stones from the Egyptians. God never intended these to be used by the Israelites for vain purposes such as their own personal ornamentation. Midrash says that the vast quantity of gold required is to atone for using gold to make the golden calf. It says that if not for the golden calf, a simple altar would have sufficed.
To show how important the tablets were, God required the ark to be made first. It contained three chests, with the inner and outer being made of gold and the middle, of wood. It had two long poles on each side to allow people to move it without touching it. These poles were slid through four rings, which Midrash says represent the four habits of a true Torah scholar: Torah study, mitzvos, good deeds and modesty. The rods were never to be removed from the rings, not even in camp. God asked for the people to make the ark, but only for the priestly class to make the menorah.. Midrash says this is because Torah study is available to all, but the priestly duties, symbolized by the menorah, were only available to a few. There is a nice drawing of the ark on page 245 of The Midrash Says: S'mos. The drawing includes the cherubim on top of the ark; they are not the fat little boy angels we are accustomed to seeing in paintings. The cherubim here do look young, maybe preteen, but they are not babies. Midrash says when God is pleased with us, they don't just merely look at each other, but embrace. When He is displeased, they turn their heads away from each other. When He speaks to the Israelites, His voice rises from between the cherubim.
The Midrash Says also has an illustration of the holder for the twelve loaves of bread to be offered to God (p. 257). It has removable loaf holder drawers, one atop another, and somewhat resembles and apothecary cabinet except the drawers are not covered. One family of kohanim was in charge of baking the bread every Friday and refilling the drawers, which were never to be empty. Of course, the Israelites were responsible for bringing the grain that would be baked.
The details here and later, in descriptions of the Temple, have been used in the creation of Jewish ceremonial objects ever since. The description of the menorah in Exodus 25:20 makes it clear that this is to be a very important ceremonial object, made of pure gold, most of it comprised of one piece of hammered work, not pieced together. I have earlier mentioned a special type of sage that looks like a candelabra. It is called Salvia Judaica - literally Save Jews. Here is a good picture of it: http://www.holidayinisrael.com/ViewPage.asp?lid=1&pid=289. Aaron and his sons only were to be in charge of lighting the menorah, again showing the importance of it. There were no candles of that time, so I assume that woven thread was used for wicks and needed to be replaced regularly. I am allergic to candle smoke, so maybe the answer to the candle lighting at home is not the battery operated candles we have now, but lamps with wicks, lit with a lighter rather than a match.
Midrash says that after God caused an ark and a bread offering table to descend from Heaven, Moses understood his directions and was able to copy them here on earth. However, the precision of the Menorah was too much for him, even after seeing one made in Heaven. So God allowed him to cast a brick of gold into a fire and from this, the Menorah emerged fully formed. This reminds me of the Golden Calf, which Aaron insisted sprang from the fire already made.
There is an illustration of the layout of the completed mishkan on 267, which disproves my belief that this was a small building, big enough for only three priests at a time, close up. This is a big affair, with a courtyard/tent of meeting as well as the inner chambers for the offerings and the ark. Although it had walls of woven cloth and leather, the frame was cedar wood. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to move it with them so many years. I don't recall reading about it's being on skids anywhere, but as a farm girl, I can tell you empirically that a very long hoop house (frame and cloth building) can be pulled by two draft horses if it is on skids (long wooden poles that are angled up so they don't dig into the soil and run lengthwise below any other piece of the building). I wonder if they removed the skins to lighten the load before pulling the building? And this leads me to a long daydream of how the entire party travelled; they must have taken apart their tents in the morning and laid components on the backs of horses and oxen, much as the American Indians did, stopping just before dark to set up their shelters again.
I moved across country once, camping every night. It sounds like a big hassle, but it was fun, even if we got stung by mosquitos in the few warm dusk hours, right before we froze in New Mexico, the state in which my wallet was stolen. Even if we got pulled over twice by cops who thought we might be hiding illegal aliens. I will never forget it. But then again, I only had to pack a small amount of water and food with me because I always knew I could get more.
Torah Portion Exodus 21.1-24.18 Mishpatim
Torah Portion Exodus 21.1-24.18 Mishpatim
This parsha is called Mishpatim, for laws, because it begins: "These are the rules that you shall set before them:" These are primarily civil laws, but there are a few religious laws. For easy reference, I have sorted the laws into categories, which are not necessarily in order and or in the categories others have used. Below the listing of laws, I will give some explanations from Midrash, from various rabbis and from my own thoughts and experiences. I am not attempting to cover each law.
The physical placement of laws throughout the Torah piqued the interest of the sages. Nachmonides said the placement of this particular group of laws, right after the Decalogue and Revelation at Sinai, proves particular importance. These laws were considered absolutely necessary for an orderly society. Later in Torah we will receive laws regarding the priesthood, family purity, sacrificial offerings, business deals and treatment of the ill or dead.
Also, the laws are deliniated in the text before Moses is called up the mountain to receive them in Exodus 24:12. God said to Moses, 'Ascend to me up the mountain, and be there, and I will give you the tablets of stone, the Torah, and the command, which I have written ... From this, the rabbis deduced that Moses received verbally the whole Tanakh and oral law in summary. Talmud, Barachot 5a: "And Rav Levi bar Chama taught in the name of Rav Shimon ben Lakish: What does the verse mean? Tablets refers to the Ten Commandments. Torah is scripture, the Five Books of Moses. Command is Mishna. Which I have written are the works of the Prophets and other Writings. To instruct thereof is the Talmud. This teaches us that all [the above] were given to Moses from Sinai".
Perhaps God thought that the people would be overwhelmed to suddenly recceive the entire 613 Commandments at once, already written. Or perhaps, since the two stone tablets couldn't have been small, God thought Moses couldn't carry any more! Another reason only these laws were presented here is because Moses had to commit them to memory and teach them orally. This was a man "heavy of tongue"not long ago.
Rabbi Yitz of Temple Beth Israel in Eugene said it is especially important to read the commentary when studying this parsha. The intent of the text is easily misunderstood on a surface reading. When we read of slavery, for instance, we must not make snap judgments. We all come to Torah with the lessons life has taught us and our modern understanding. The commentary opens our minds to other ways of understanding. Rabbi Yitz said studying Torah was not meant to be easy. If we are to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we must challenge ourselves with the text.
Immediately below are the laws presented in this parsha. Further below are explanations.
Worship of God:
1. You shall set aside your first born sons to serve God
2. You shall also set aside the first born cattle and flocks, leaving them with their mothers 7 days and giving them to God on the 8th.
3. You shall be holy and not eat flesh torn by beasts, but must cast it to the dogs.
4. You shall not revile God
5. You shall hold three festivals a year for me, The Feast of the Unleavened Bread, the Feast of the Harvest and the Feast of Ingathering.
6. Do not offer any leavened item along with blood offerings to God; also do not leave fat lying until morning.
7. Bring the choice first fruits to Temple
Black magic, idol worship:
1. You shall not tolerate a sorceress
2. If anyone engages in idol worship, they will be ostracized. (Steve's text says he shall be ___ but only to God alone)
3. You shall not curse a chieftain among your people.
4. Don't even mention other gods!
Sabbath:
1. Six days you work and on the seventh you will rest - not only along with your ox and ass, but in order that your ox, ass, bondsman and stranger may also rest.
2. Six years you shall gather harvest but in the seventh year even the land is allowed to lie fallow.
Treatment of slaves:
1. Hebrew slaves shall go free on the 7th year, with his wife if he was enslaved with him.
2. When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she is treated differently. She must be given the chance to be redeemed within the community rather than cast away and if he marries another, he can not deny her food, clothing or conjugal rights. If he does so, she shall go free.
3. If a man strikes his slave in the eye, blinding him, or knocks out a tooth, the slave shall go free.
4. If a man kills his slave immediately by striking him, the slave must be avenged, but if the slave survives even a day or two, there is no punishment.
Treatment of parents:
1. Anyone who strikes his father or mother - or even insults them shall be put to death.
Kidnapping, violating women:
1. Anyone who kidnaps another shall be put to death.
2. If am man lays with a virgin without paying the bride price, her father may refuse to give her to him as a wife, but the man must pay the bride price whether he gets the girl as a wife or not.
Treatment of others:
1. Do not wrong or oppress a stranger - with the reminder that they were oppressed in Egypt.
2. Do not ill treat any widows or orphans.
3. If you take a poor man's cloak as a pledge that he will pay a debt, you must return it to him at night, or he won't be able to sleep in the cold
4. You must not carry false rumors or join with the guilty to act as a malicious witness
5. You shall not join the powerful in doing wrong
6. You shall neither favor the powerful nor the poor in a dispute
7. If you find your enemy's ox or ass loose, you must still return it him
8. Do not take bribes
9. Do not give false witness so an innocent person dies
10. Let the needy eat of your field, vineyard and olive groves in the 7th year, during which time you must not ather harvest.
Treatment of animals:
1. You shall not boil a kid in its mother's milk.
2. If your enemy's ass is overburdened and on the ground, you must help your enemy lighten the load so the ass may stand again.
3. See the Sabbath prohibition against working ox and ass
Maiming, killing or results of street fights:
1. Anyone who fatally strikes a man shall be put to death - unless it were by accident, and then he shall be allowed to flee.
2. Anyone who premeditates and murders another shall be put to death.
3. When men fight and one strikes another, causing him to take to bed, the assailant must pay for the idleness and medical treatment
4. If fighting men push a pregnant woman, who miscarries, the one who pushed shall pay a fine set by the woman's husband. If further damage occurs, the penalty is higher - eye for eye, tooth for tooth, etc.
Damage to property or resulting from property:
1. If an ox gores a person, the ox shall be stoned and not eaten, but the owner is not to be held liable unless the ox has previously gored and the owner did not take action. In this case, the owner, too, shall be put to death. If there is a ransom, the owner must pay it. If the person gored is a slave, the owner of the ox has to pay 30 sheckels of silver to the master and the ox is still stoned.
2. If a man steals an ox or sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he shall pay five oxen for the ox and four sheep for the sheep. If the owner seizes the thief while he is tunneling and beats him to death, the owner is not liable, but if he kills him the following day, he is liable. If the animal is found alive in the thief's possession, he must pay double. If he can not, he must be sold as a slave.
3. If a man digs a pit and does not cover it and an ox or ass falls into it, then the digger has to pay the owner restitution but gets to keep the dead animal.
4. If someone lets his livestock loose long enough for them to graze another's field or vineyard bare, he must make restitution.
5. If someone lights a fire and it consumes grain, he shall make restitution.
6. If property entrusted to another is stolen, and the thief is caught, the thief pays double. But if the thief is not caught, they shall both appear in a court of God. If an animal entrusted to another's care dies or is injured and there is no witness, both parties shall appear before God. If the animal is stolen, the person entrusted with its care has to pay the owner restitution. If the animal was torn by beasts, he has only to bring evidence.
7. If someone borrows an animal from another and it dies or is injured in his care, he must make restitution unless the owner was present when it happened. The owner, is, however, entitled to the fee if the animal was hired.
Assorted other issues:
1. Anyone who lies with a beast will be put to death.
2. Do not delay the first skimming of your vats.
God warned the people to obey the angel he sent to lead them to the Promised Land. He promised that if they obey both Him and His angel, He would be an enemy to their enemy and a foe to their foes. He promised to throw the enemies into confusion and terror, and to cause plague in their midst. He promised that if they detroyed any idols they found and served only God, He would annihilate the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivites and the Jebusites. They must not allow any of these people to remain in their midst, less they be corrupted by them.
He said he would drive the enemies out little by little rather than have the land suddenly be barren. He promised them the land from the Sea of Reeds to the Sea of Philistia and from the wilderness to the Euphrates.
If they obeyed, He would bless their bread and water, remove sickness from their midst, allow no woman to go barren or miscarry AND will allow them the full life span, which you will remember, is quite extended over our own. What fabulous promises!!
The Israelites promise, "Everything that God says, we will do and we will hear". We know they later falter, but at that moment, the people chose God as much as He chose them. They agreed to be his Chosen, even though many responsiblities accompany this privilege. The word segulah, which means chosen, is elegantly explained by Samson Rafael Hirsch - " Is it not Israel's unceasing duty to proclaim, through the example of its life and history, Him as the universal Lord and Sovereign? The Bible terms Israel segulah, a particular treasure, but this designation does not imply, as some have falsely interpreted, that Israel has a monopoly on the Divine love and favor, but on the contrary, that God has the sole and exclusive claim on Israel's devotion and service; that Israel may not render divine homage to any other being." Segulah means a property belonging exclusively to one owner. God does not belong only to Israel but Israel belongs to God.
Midrash answers the question why other nations were only required to follow the seven Noahide laws, but Israelites were given hundreds of laws. Midrash tells the story of a doctor who restricted severely the diet of a patient he thought showed promise to get well but allowing the patient for whom he held no hope to eat whatever he liked. Because the Israelites were capable of spiritual purity, they were given laws to regulate every aspect of their lives, to help them attain this purity.
There are quite a few laws regarding slaves, including when to release them, the proper treatment of a girl slave when an owner has tired of her, payment or revenge for a slave that has been killed, etc. Moreover, God says twice not to oppress a stranger, because the Israelites were themselves oppressed and enslaved while strangers in Egypt. Midrash says even when a slave choses to remain with his master, he must state this in front of the Bet Din and in the Yovel year, which is every 50th year, he shall go free anyway. Midrash explains the use of the front door post as the place to pierce the slaves ear thus: God had the Israelites smear blood on their doorposts to show their servitude to God; so must a slave show servitude to his owner. Moreover, the slave must really want to stay in order to endure having his ear bored in public.
Midrash says if a man is very poor and has already liquidated his possessions, only then may he sell a daughter under 12 years old into slavery. It is a mitzvah for the purchaser to either marry her himself or to give her to his son in marriage, thus providing for both the poor father and the girl. The purchase price for the girl becomes her bride price. If neither the purchaser nor his son wants to marry her, and the father has become financially stable, the father must redeem her. Otherwise the girl must be offered for sale again, with the years she served deducted from her bride price. A girl goes free once she has matured, when six years or the Yovel year have arrived, or if her master dies. She does not have the option of having her ear bored on the door post!
Midrash says the laws of capitol punishment for harm done to parents apply to a boy above the age of 13 and a girl above the age of twelve, and only if they have previously been warned and two witnesses can verify the harm done.
The "eye for an eye" punishment is often misunderstood as cruel and unusual. Torah does not intend for someone to literally gore out another's eye in punishment. There are five levels of injury - causing physical injury, causing pain, causing medical expenses, causing absence from work and causing humiliation. The Bet Din calculates how much the injured party's value would be diminished on account of the handicap if he were sold as a slave to perform the same profession. A manual laborer receives more for his hand than an intellectual. Above the payment for physical damage, the aggressor must also pay for pain, medical expenses, financial losses from inability to work and also for shame! Thus, an eye for an eye actually means the value of an eye for an eye.
Midrash says God warned against harming widows and orphans: "A wronged wife is able to complain to her husband and an oppressed son usually calls to his father for help. Since a widow and orphan have no one to defend them, they complain to Me. I will take revenge for every single one of their outcries..." God details a number of punishments, including: "Your wives will become widows for life. They will be unable to remarry because since their husbands will be missing, but their deaths never ascertained; their children for this reason will never be able to inherit their fathers' estates."
Regarding the prohibition against bearing false witness, Midrash clearly states a Judge must remove himself from a case in which witnesses may be lying, even if he can not prove it. Moreover, if he has a colleague he knows is dishonest, he should refuse to try a case with him. Torah uses the word "distance" to emphasize that if one cannot stop it, one must at least show no inclination to participate in it and protect oneself from being close enough to accidentally become embroiled in it. Rabbi Gefen, in Truth and Falsehood on Aish.com, explains well that distancing oneself from falsehood includes not engaging in words and actions that are technically true but intend to deceive.
It sounds totally egotistical of me, but I disagree with Midrash and other forms of "Oral Law" on the subject of mixing milk and meat. Midrash says the reason it is not specifically written in Torah that God did not want us to eat milk and meat together was because God foresaw a time when other nations would try to say they were the chosen people, not the Israelites... And therefore, some commandments could not be written but must be transmitted orally. However, I see that there are many places in Torah where God, who does not expect us to be vegetarians, does expect us to show compassion for the pain of mother animals separated from their babies. Therefore, we do not kill a calf in front of its mother, take eggs or young from a mother bird without shooing her away... or boil a kid in its mother's milk. (During my bet din, this subject came up and one of the judges said I should consider whether or not to eat eggs in the same meal with chicken.)
I raised a variety of goat breeds and know firsthand that does mourn deeply when their kids die. My angoras seemed confused more than anything else, but my pygmies and pygoras would wail. That's right, wail, like human mothers.
Torah makes clear that punishment is much stricter for premeditated crime and is less strict or even lenient when there is no premeditation. For instance, when a thief enters your home if you strike him and kill him, it is like he doesn't even bleed. If you kill another by accident, you may flee to another city. If your ox gores a human and you don't know it may happen...
I am very impressed by the fairness of these laws in comparison to laws of other societies of the time.
This parsha is called Mishpatim, for laws, because it begins: "These are the rules that you shall set before them:" These are primarily civil laws, but there are a few religious laws. For easy reference, I have sorted the laws into categories, which are not necessarily in order and or in the categories others have used. Below the listing of laws, I will give some explanations from Midrash, from various rabbis and from my own thoughts and experiences. I am not attempting to cover each law.
The physical placement of laws throughout the Torah piqued the interest of the sages. Nachmonides said the placement of this particular group of laws, right after the Decalogue and Revelation at Sinai, proves particular importance. These laws were considered absolutely necessary for an orderly society. Later in Torah we will receive laws regarding the priesthood, family purity, sacrificial offerings, business deals and treatment of the ill or dead.
Also, the laws are deliniated in the text before Moses is called up the mountain to receive them in Exodus 24:12. God said to Moses, 'Ascend to me up the mountain, and be there, and I will give you the tablets of stone, the Torah, and the command, which I have written ... From this, the rabbis deduced that Moses received verbally the whole Tanakh and oral law in summary. Talmud, Barachot 5a: "And Rav Levi bar Chama taught in the name of Rav Shimon ben Lakish: What does the verse mean? Tablets refers to the Ten Commandments. Torah is scripture, the Five Books of Moses. Command is Mishna. Which I have written are the works of the Prophets and other Writings. To instruct thereof is the Talmud. This teaches us that all [the above] were given to Moses from Sinai".
Perhaps God thought that the people would be overwhelmed to suddenly recceive the entire 613 Commandments at once, already written. Or perhaps, since the two stone tablets couldn't have been small, God thought Moses couldn't carry any more! Another reason only these laws were presented here is because Moses had to commit them to memory and teach them orally. This was a man "heavy of tongue"not long ago.
Rabbi Yitz of Temple Beth Israel in Eugene said it is especially important to read the commentary when studying this parsha. The intent of the text is easily misunderstood on a surface reading. When we read of slavery, for instance, we must not make snap judgments. We all come to Torah with the lessons life has taught us and our modern understanding. The commentary opens our minds to other ways of understanding. Rabbi Yitz said studying Torah was not meant to be easy. If we are to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we must challenge ourselves with the text.
Immediately below are the laws presented in this parsha. Further below are explanations.
Worship of God:
1. You shall set aside your first born sons to serve God
2. You shall also set aside the first born cattle and flocks, leaving them with their mothers 7 days and giving them to God on the 8th.
3. You shall be holy and not eat flesh torn by beasts, but must cast it to the dogs.
4. You shall not revile God
5. You shall hold three festivals a year for me, The Feast of the Unleavened Bread, the Feast of the Harvest and the Feast of Ingathering.
6. Do not offer any leavened item along with blood offerings to God; also do not leave fat lying until morning.
7. Bring the choice first fruits to Temple
Black magic, idol worship:
1. You shall not tolerate a sorceress
2. If anyone engages in idol worship, they will be ostracized. (Steve's text says he shall be ___ but only to God alone)
3. You shall not curse a chieftain among your people.
4. Don't even mention other gods!
Sabbath:
1. Six days you work and on the seventh you will rest - not only along with your ox and ass, but in order that your ox, ass, bondsman and stranger may also rest.
2. Six years you shall gather harvest but in the seventh year even the land is allowed to lie fallow.
Treatment of slaves:
1. Hebrew slaves shall go free on the 7th year, with his wife if he was enslaved with him.
2. When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she is treated differently. She must be given the chance to be redeemed within the community rather than cast away and if he marries another, he can not deny her food, clothing or conjugal rights. If he does so, she shall go free.
3. If a man strikes his slave in the eye, blinding him, or knocks out a tooth, the slave shall go free.
4. If a man kills his slave immediately by striking him, the slave must be avenged, but if the slave survives even a day or two, there is no punishment.
Treatment of parents:
1. Anyone who strikes his father or mother - or even insults them shall be put to death.
Kidnapping, violating women:
1. Anyone who kidnaps another shall be put to death.
2. If am man lays with a virgin without paying the bride price, her father may refuse to give her to him as a wife, but the man must pay the bride price whether he gets the girl as a wife or not.
Treatment of others:
1. Do not wrong or oppress a stranger - with the reminder that they were oppressed in Egypt.
2. Do not ill treat any widows or orphans.
3. If you take a poor man's cloak as a pledge that he will pay a debt, you must return it to him at night, or he won't be able to sleep in the cold
4. You must not carry false rumors or join with the guilty to act as a malicious witness
5. You shall not join the powerful in doing wrong
6. You shall neither favor the powerful nor the poor in a dispute
7. If you find your enemy's ox or ass loose, you must still return it him
8. Do not take bribes
9. Do not give false witness so an innocent person dies
10. Let the needy eat of your field, vineyard and olive groves in the 7th year, during which time you must not ather harvest.
Treatment of animals:
1. You shall not boil a kid in its mother's milk.
2. If your enemy's ass is overburdened and on the ground, you must help your enemy lighten the load so the ass may stand again.
3. See the Sabbath prohibition against working ox and ass
Maiming, killing or results of street fights:
1. Anyone who fatally strikes a man shall be put to death - unless it were by accident, and then he shall be allowed to flee.
2. Anyone who premeditates and murders another shall be put to death.
3. When men fight and one strikes another, causing him to take to bed, the assailant must pay for the idleness and medical treatment
4. If fighting men push a pregnant woman, who miscarries, the one who pushed shall pay a fine set by the woman's husband. If further damage occurs, the penalty is higher - eye for eye, tooth for tooth, etc.
Damage to property or resulting from property:
1. If an ox gores a person, the ox shall be stoned and not eaten, but the owner is not to be held liable unless the ox has previously gored and the owner did not take action. In this case, the owner, too, shall be put to death. If there is a ransom, the owner must pay it. If the person gored is a slave, the owner of the ox has to pay 30 sheckels of silver to the master and the ox is still stoned.
2. If a man steals an ox or sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he shall pay five oxen for the ox and four sheep for the sheep. If the owner seizes the thief while he is tunneling and beats him to death, the owner is not liable, but if he kills him the following day, he is liable. If the animal is found alive in the thief's possession, he must pay double. If he can not, he must be sold as a slave.
3. If a man digs a pit and does not cover it and an ox or ass falls into it, then the digger has to pay the owner restitution but gets to keep the dead animal.
4. If someone lets his livestock loose long enough for them to graze another's field or vineyard bare, he must make restitution.
5. If someone lights a fire and it consumes grain, he shall make restitution.
6. If property entrusted to another is stolen, and the thief is caught, the thief pays double. But if the thief is not caught, they shall both appear in a court of God. If an animal entrusted to another's care dies or is injured and there is no witness, both parties shall appear before God. If the animal is stolen, the person entrusted with its care has to pay the owner restitution. If the animal was torn by beasts, he has only to bring evidence.
7. If someone borrows an animal from another and it dies or is injured in his care, he must make restitution unless the owner was present when it happened. The owner, is, however, entitled to the fee if the animal was hired.
Assorted other issues:
1. Anyone who lies with a beast will be put to death.
2. Do not delay the first skimming of your vats.
God warned the people to obey the angel he sent to lead them to the Promised Land. He promised that if they obey both Him and His angel, He would be an enemy to their enemy and a foe to their foes. He promised to throw the enemies into confusion and terror, and to cause plague in their midst. He promised that if they detroyed any idols they found and served only God, He would annihilate the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivites and the Jebusites. They must not allow any of these people to remain in their midst, less they be corrupted by them.
He said he would drive the enemies out little by little rather than have the land suddenly be barren. He promised them the land from the Sea of Reeds to the Sea of Philistia and from the wilderness to the Euphrates.
If they obeyed, He would bless their bread and water, remove sickness from their midst, allow no woman to go barren or miscarry AND will allow them the full life span, which you will remember, is quite extended over our own. What fabulous promises!!
The Israelites promise, "Everything that God says, we will do and we will hear". We know they later falter, but at that moment, the people chose God as much as He chose them. They agreed to be his Chosen, even though many responsiblities accompany this privilege. The word segulah, which means chosen, is elegantly explained by Samson Rafael Hirsch - " Is it not Israel's unceasing duty to proclaim, through the example of its life and history, Him as the universal Lord and Sovereign? The Bible terms Israel segulah, a particular treasure, but this designation does not imply, as some have falsely interpreted, that Israel has a monopoly on the Divine love and favor, but on the contrary, that God has the sole and exclusive claim on Israel's devotion and service; that Israel may not render divine homage to any other being." Segulah means a property belonging exclusively to one owner. God does not belong only to Israel but Israel belongs to God.
Midrash answers the question why other nations were only required to follow the seven Noahide laws, but Israelites were given hundreds of laws. Midrash tells the story of a doctor who restricted severely the diet of a patient he thought showed promise to get well but allowing the patient for whom he held no hope to eat whatever he liked. Because the Israelites were capable of spiritual purity, they were given laws to regulate every aspect of their lives, to help them attain this purity.
There are quite a few laws regarding slaves, including when to release them, the proper treatment of a girl slave when an owner has tired of her, payment or revenge for a slave that has been killed, etc. Moreover, God says twice not to oppress a stranger, because the Israelites were themselves oppressed and enslaved while strangers in Egypt. Midrash says even when a slave choses to remain with his master, he must state this in front of the Bet Din and in the Yovel year, which is every 50th year, he shall go free anyway. Midrash explains the use of the front door post as the place to pierce the slaves ear thus: God had the Israelites smear blood on their doorposts to show their servitude to God; so must a slave show servitude to his owner. Moreover, the slave must really want to stay in order to endure having his ear bored in public.
Midrash says if a man is very poor and has already liquidated his possessions, only then may he sell a daughter under 12 years old into slavery. It is a mitzvah for the purchaser to either marry her himself or to give her to his son in marriage, thus providing for both the poor father and the girl. The purchase price for the girl becomes her bride price. If neither the purchaser nor his son wants to marry her, and the father has become financially stable, the father must redeem her. Otherwise the girl must be offered for sale again, with the years she served deducted from her bride price. A girl goes free once she has matured, when six years or the Yovel year have arrived, or if her master dies. She does not have the option of having her ear bored on the door post!
Midrash says the laws of capitol punishment for harm done to parents apply to a boy above the age of 13 and a girl above the age of twelve, and only if they have previously been warned and two witnesses can verify the harm done.
The "eye for an eye" punishment is often misunderstood as cruel and unusual. Torah does not intend for someone to literally gore out another's eye in punishment. There are five levels of injury - causing physical injury, causing pain, causing medical expenses, causing absence from work and causing humiliation. The Bet Din calculates how much the injured party's value would be diminished on account of the handicap if he were sold as a slave to perform the same profession. A manual laborer receives more for his hand than an intellectual. Above the payment for physical damage, the aggressor must also pay for pain, medical expenses, financial losses from inability to work and also for shame! Thus, an eye for an eye actually means the value of an eye for an eye.
Midrash says God warned against harming widows and orphans: "A wronged wife is able to complain to her husband and an oppressed son usually calls to his father for help. Since a widow and orphan have no one to defend them, they complain to Me. I will take revenge for every single one of their outcries..." God details a number of punishments, including: "Your wives will become widows for life. They will be unable to remarry because since their husbands will be missing, but their deaths never ascertained; their children for this reason will never be able to inherit their fathers' estates."
Regarding the prohibition against bearing false witness, Midrash clearly states a Judge must remove himself from a case in which witnesses may be lying, even if he can not prove it. Moreover, if he has a colleague he knows is dishonest, he should refuse to try a case with him. Torah uses the word "distance" to emphasize that if one cannot stop it, one must at least show no inclination to participate in it and protect oneself from being close enough to accidentally become embroiled in it. Rabbi Gefen, in Truth and Falsehood on Aish.com, explains well that distancing oneself from falsehood includes not engaging in words and actions that are technically true but intend to deceive.
It sounds totally egotistical of me, but I disagree with Midrash and other forms of "Oral Law" on the subject of mixing milk and meat. Midrash says the reason it is not specifically written in Torah that God did not want us to eat milk and meat together was because God foresaw a time when other nations would try to say they were the chosen people, not the Israelites... And therefore, some commandments could not be written but must be transmitted orally. However, I see that there are many places in Torah where God, who does not expect us to be vegetarians, does expect us to show compassion for the pain of mother animals separated from their babies. Therefore, we do not kill a calf in front of its mother, take eggs or young from a mother bird without shooing her away... or boil a kid in its mother's milk. (During my bet din, this subject came up and one of the judges said I should consider whether or not to eat eggs in the same meal with chicken.)
I raised a variety of goat breeds and know firsthand that does mourn deeply when their kids die. My angoras seemed confused more than anything else, but my pygmies and pygoras would wail. That's right, wail, like human mothers.
Torah makes clear that punishment is much stricter for premeditated crime and is less strict or even lenient when there is no premeditation. For instance, when a thief enters your home if you strike him and kill him, it is like he doesn't even bleed. If you kill another by accident, you may flee to another city. If your ox gores a human and you don't know it may happen...
I am very impressed by the fairness of these laws in comparison to laws of other societies of the time.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Odds and Ends of Hasidism
I learned today that my favorite high school teacher, Bernis von zur Muehlin, was related to Schneur Zalman of Liadi! And also to Herb Alpert, a trumpeter whose style I tried to copy in my band days. No WONDER I loved her so!
Bernis had a great talent for finding beauty in "ordinary" people and also in perhaps less-beautiful emotions. I was a shy kid with a terrible self image. She encouraged my writing and took photographs of me in which I was stunned to find myself looking fierce and powerful. I was delighted to also discover she is still exhibiting her photography.
An essay on a Hasidic rabbi who teaches an Israeli immigrant - a dog:
http://petandpractice.blogspot.com/2010/12/yes-miky-there-are-rabbis-in-montana.html
For an amusing lecture on Jewish Marriage, watch Rabbi Yosef Jacobson's The Unlikely Couple on Torahcafe.com. I also liked Dr. Treat's lecture with the same title and have enjoyed everything from Rabbi Manis Friedman. Also Rivke Slonim gave a wonderful lecture on the mitzvah of mikveh. I have two dunkings coming up and needed the inspiration.
Bernis had a great talent for finding beauty in "ordinary" people and also in perhaps less-beautiful emotions. I was a shy kid with a terrible self image. She encouraged my writing and took photographs of me in which I was stunned to find myself looking fierce and powerful. I was delighted to also discover she is still exhibiting her photography.
An essay on a Hasidic rabbi who teaches an Israeli immigrant - a dog:
http://petandpractice.blogspot.com/2010/12/yes-miky-there-are-rabbis-in-montana.html
For an amusing lecture on Jewish Marriage, watch Rabbi Yosef Jacobson's The Unlikely Couple on Torahcafe.com. I also liked Dr. Treat's lecture with the same title and have enjoyed everything from Rabbi Manis Friedman. Also Rivke Slonim gave a wonderful lecture on the mitzvah of mikveh. I have two dunkings coming up and needed the inspiration.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Epiphanies on Love
I have been graced with three epiphanies about love recently.
The first, actually a couple of months ago, was an enormous revelation to me. A former Deist, I believed God created the world but was not concerned with the lives of those on it. However, because my love felt so right, I began to wonder if there could be such a thing as a beshert, a soul mate. While studying, I came across the notion that God arranges marriages. I closed the book and my eyes and marveled that my love could have been preordained to marry me before I was even born. This led to the thought that perhaps God was not present in my painful early relationships because I wasn't with my beshert. Perhaps the reason I do not waver now is because God Himself is steadying me. If I am with my beshert, God is a third party in our relationship, invested in our success. Then the epiphany: if besherts are real, then God must indeed care how we live our lives.
My beshert said he also never believed in soul mates before us. There are times when I am overwhelmed by the happiness and satisfaction I see in his eyes. I am grateful and humbled to please him so much. May it always be so!
The second epiphany was related, but took a long time to flesh out. My beshert and I sometimes are amazed that we have been allowed to find each other. My first step towards understanding this spiritually was remembering that we had both lived a secular life for many years. We began going to synagogue, studying, praying and serving - and then we found each other.
The sages said that one's first wife was one's beshert and that one's second was given on merit. If the first wife was not compatible with her husband, even if he were a rabbi who seemed the epitome of perfection, it was because God intended her cross behavior to teach him something. But if he had the opportunity to marry again, he would be given a more loving wife if he merited her.
I didn't want to think the first half of that idea was true; I preferred to think our own poor choices were our own faults because God did not want us to be unhappy. However, I realized tonight that I have learned much by being unhappy and by not wanting to be unhappy anymore. About a year and a half ago, my desire to fix my life was so deep that I, who had been a hermit and stuck in my ways, was ready to take action. I began reading about things Jewish, signed up for classes and did a lot of reflection on my personal relationships.
I had very little experience with love - feeling or receiving it. I had even less with resolving conflicts. I never wanted to talk about anything. But desire to do right overcame habit and fear. That was the reason I merited this love. Not perfection, but true desire.
A few weeks earlier, I told someone it was really uncomfortable to be the guest in a house where the tension between husband and wife is palpable. Tonight I realized that my understanding of love has changed so I don't look at love the same way I did even a few weeks ago. Before meeting my beshert, I did not believe love existed. And then I thought love was rare and that we were very lucky. Now I understand that everyone can experience love.
In the first few weeks, if things weren't pleasant sometimes, my first thought was, "Why is he doing this to me?" I heard myself thinking this and stopped myself because I realized that whatever he was feeling was important, too. This led quickly to realizing I valued his happiness more than my own. (That sound huge, but it wasn't going quite far enough yet. A parent, after all, can put the happiness of a child first without necessarily attempting to understand the child's feelings.) I progressed to knowing that not only did I value his happiness, but that all his feelings had merit and were worthy of respect. And even if I did not currently understand, I could try to understand.
That is the secret - when we are willing and able to trust thoroughly in the other's good intentions, and to overcome our own hurts and insecurities in order to attend to growing the relationship, then we are able to receive love.
So if I am a guest in a home where the tension is thick, instead of my old mantra, "This is miserable. They are miserable and they're making me miserable," I hope I will remember that they are capable of finding deep love if they open themselves up to it fully. This is a much nicer way of reacting to the tension. It allows me not only to give them the benefit of the doubt, but also to rise above it.
Sometimes rabbis seem to have a non stop flow of unhappy people in their offices. Once Rabbi Yitz thanked my beshert and me for bringing light into his day. I thought he had a hard day and was glad we were an enjoyable last appointment for him. I wondered how he could radiate cheer and love despite the stresses of his job.
I realized tonight that not only is romantic love available to all, but so is love in all types of relationships.
A rabbi who thinks "This person is miserable and making me miserable, too" won't last long in his job. Although a good rabbi may sometimes be troubled by what he sees and hears, his faith that God wants us to be happy allows him to help people without being dragged down by them. God wants us to choose happiness. If we open ourselves up to this faith and take the first step towards improving our relationships, He will be there to help us take the second step.
When someone told Rabbi Harold Kushner that kashrut laws were petty restrictions, Kushner answered, "How wonderful it is that God cares what I have for lunch!"
I am beginning to understand.
The first, actually a couple of months ago, was an enormous revelation to me. A former Deist, I believed God created the world but was not concerned with the lives of those on it. However, because my love felt so right, I began to wonder if there could be such a thing as a beshert, a soul mate. While studying, I came across the notion that God arranges marriages. I closed the book and my eyes and marveled that my love could have been preordained to marry me before I was even born. This led to the thought that perhaps God was not present in my painful early relationships because I wasn't with my beshert. Perhaps the reason I do not waver now is because God Himself is steadying me. If I am with my beshert, God is a third party in our relationship, invested in our success. Then the epiphany: if besherts are real, then God must indeed care how we live our lives.
My beshert said he also never believed in soul mates before us. There are times when I am overwhelmed by the happiness and satisfaction I see in his eyes. I am grateful and humbled to please him so much. May it always be so!
The second epiphany was related, but took a long time to flesh out. My beshert and I sometimes are amazed that we have been allowed to find each other. My first step towards understanding this spiritually was remembering that we had both lived a secular life for many years. We began going to synagogue, studying, praying and serving - and then we found each other.
The sages said that one's first wife was one's beshert and that one's second was given on merit. If the first wife was not compatible with her husband, even if he were a rabbi who seemed the epitome of perfection, it was because God intended her cross behavior to teach him something. But if he had the opportunity to marry again, he would be given a more loving wife if he merited her.
I didn't want to think the first half of that idea was true; I preferred to think our own poor choices were our own faults because God did not want us to be unhappy. However, I realized tonight that I have learned much by being unhappy and by not wanting to be unhappy anymore. About a year and a half ago, my desire to fix my life was so deep that I, who had been a hermit and stuck in my ways, was ready to take action. I began reading about things Jewish, signed up for classes and did a lot of reflection on my personal relationships.
I had very little experience with love - feeling or receiving it. I had even less with resolving conflicts. I never wanted to talk about anything. But desire to do right overcame habit and fear. That was the reason I merited this love. Not perfection, but true desire.
A few weeks earlier, I told someone it was really uncomfortable to be the guest in a house where the tension between husband and wife is palpable. Tonight I realized that my understanding of love has changed so I don't look at love the same way I did even a few weeks ago. Before meeting my beshert, I did not believe love existed. And then I thought love was rare and that we were very lucky. Now I understand that everyone can experience love.
In the first few weeks, if things weren't pleasant sometimes, my first thought was, "Why is he doing this to me?" I heard myself thinking this and stopped myself because I realized that whatever he was feeling was important, too. This led quickly to realizing I valued his happiness more than my own. (That sound huge, but it wasn't going quite far enough yet. A parent, after all, can put the happiness of a child first without necessarily attempting to understand the child's feelings.) I progressed to knowing that not only did I value his happiness, but that all his feelings had merit and were worthy of respect. And even if I did not currently understand, I could try to understand.
That is the secret - when we are willing and able to trust thoroughly in the other's good intentions, and to overcome our own hurts and insecurities in order to attend to growing the relationship, then we are able to receive love.
So if I am a guest in a home where the tension is thick, instead of my old mantra, "This is miserable. They are miserable and they're making me miserable," I hope I will remember that they are capable of finding deep love if they open themselves up to it fully. This is a much nicer way of reacting to the tension. It allows me not only to give them the benefit of the doubt, but also to rise above it.
Sometimes rabbis seem to have a non stop flow of unhappy people in their offices. Once Rabbi Yitz thanked my beshert and me for bringing light into his day. I thought he had a hard day and was glad we were an enjoyable last appointment for him. I wondered how he could radiate cheer and love despite the stresses of his job.
I realized tonight that not only is romantic love available to all, but so is love in all types of relationships.
A rabbi who thinks "This person is miserable and making me miserable, too" won't last long in his job. Although a good rabbi may sometimes be troubled by what he sees and hears, his faith that God wants us to be happy allows him to help people without being dragged down by them. God wants us to choose happiness. If we open ourselves up to this faith and take the first step towards improving our relationships, He will be there to help us take the second step.
When someone told Rabbi Harold Kushner that kashrut laws were petty restrictions, Kushner answered, "How wonderful it is that God cares what I have for lunch!"
I am beginning to understand.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Torah Portion Exodus 6.2-9.35
Torah Portion Exodus 6.2-9.35
Study for this parsha includes the JPS Tanakh and the Sh'mos edition of the book The Midrash Says, edited by Rabbi Moshe Weissman. Also I consulted Aish.com's Advanced Parsha pages and several of Chabad.org's devars. I did not attend TBI's Torah Study group this week. A side note: Chabad.org is the site of the most powerful line of Chassidism, the Lubavitch. Aish.org intends to represent Judaism in general.
This parsha begins with God's description of himself in Exodus 6:2: "I am the Lord. I appeared to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob as El Shaddai..." El is the name for the highest Canaanite god. Shaddai is the word for mountain, so literally, one of God's names for Himself is God of the Mountain. ( There is a "Midianite Theory" that the gods of Moses and Abraham were different. Since Moses first met God in Midian (now Jordan) while staying in the household of Jethro, a priest, the God of Moses was actually a Midianite war and volcano God, NOT the more empathetic God of Abraham who sat down for dinner and a conversation! In support of this theory, Moses' God did not disappear for a few years between visits. Moses' God would not leave Moses alone! The Revelation at Sinai happened in an atmosphere of threatened volcanic eruption: dense clouds of smoke and fire; the mountain even shook violently.)
However, doesn't the opening of this parsha disprove the Midianite theory? Doesn't it make clear that God considered Himself ONE entity, as we proclaim in the Shema ? (Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One.) For God continues, "...but I did not make Myself known to them by My name..." followed by the unpronounceable Tetragrammaton, and His confirmation that He promised the land of Canaan to the descendants of Abraham.
So how shall we reconcile these two "personalities" of God? Kabbalah has a "tree" diagram showing all the Sefirot (attributes of God, using anthropomorphic terms) and explaining not only how He works within those attributes, but how we should attempt to emulate God, climbing the "tree" as far as we are able. Kabbalah calls loving kindness Chesed and severity/strength (tough love?) Gevurah. It appears that God used the attribute of Chesed more with Abraham and Gevurah more with Moses. There are other attributes being used, of course, but I have neither much talent nor much interest (these shortcomings tend to reinforce each other) in esoteric matters. I will leave a detailed description of the Kabbalistic attributes of God to others more talented than I.
Here are my "logical" thoughts: God knows each of His creations far better than we are able to know ourselves. Therefore, He knows how to approach us. Abraham always seemed to me a righteous man, hard working and faithful to God, but wishy washy in affairs of the heart. For instance, although he should have interfered in the squabbling of his wife and concubine, he did not, much to Sarah's displeasure. If God had dealt with Abraham as harshly as He did with Moses, would Abraham have been crushed? Perhaps.
Moses was filled with dread and foreboding. His "Egyptian insider" status, which no doubt was an advantage in this matter, increased his reluctance to act. If God had appeared as a friend or forgiving parent, would Moses have dilly dallied or not accepted his assignment at all?
Moreover, God gave Himself a name that is easy to understand, God of the Mountain, to Abraham, but a name that could never be understood, unpronounceable and meaning something like "I am what I am" to Moses. When as I child I demanded logical reasons for tasks my father expected me to do, he sometimes gave a similar answer! I didn't need to understand. I just needed to do.
This parsha contains one of my favorite understatements: "I am the Lord... I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and through extraordinary chastisements." (ex 6:6) (This second sentence also contains the alternate title for Maimonides' Mishnah Torah. After initial publication, some people advised Maimonides that calling his work "The Second Torah" sounded egotistical, so Maimonides gave it Sefer Yad haHazaka, Book of the Outstretched Arm, as an alternate title.)
Moses, as instructed, told the Israelites that God heard their cries and was ready to free them and take them into the Promised Land. However, the Israelites were literally made hope-less by their sufferings and did not believe Moses.
When God instructed Moses to ask Pharaoh for the release of His people, Moses protested that if the Israelites would not listen to a man with a speech impediment, why should Pharaoh? (Do all people, even our greatest prophets, share the trait of exaggerating a small fault to the point where it impedes necessary brave actions? I struggle with this myself. Words come easily to paper but poorly to my mouth. I shall have to remember the struggles of Moses - and his ability to rise above them.) God accepted the fears of Moses and included Aaron in his instructions.
There is an intermission here for an accounting of the descendants of many of Jacob's progeny. You may decide to go to the lobby and get a big bucket of popcorn or you may stay and wonder the significance of this break. (I noted that one of the sons of Simeon is named Zohar, the name later chosen for the most important book of Kabbalah. Zohar means "splendor". I find this very interesting because Simeon ben Yohai, often called only Rabbi Simeon, is the assumed author (father) of Zohar! Life imitates Torah throughout the ages, does it not?)
The intended reason for the break appears to be to show that Moses and Aaron were indeed descendants of the patriarchs and therefore worthy by blood to lead this mission. ("It is the same Aaron and Moses...") Levi's sons included Kohath. Kohath's sons included Amran. Amran's sons were Aaron and Moses. Although we are given the names of Aaron's four sons, Moses' are not listed here, perhaps because they do not serve as priests.
After this intermission, God made an incredible statement to Moses: "See, I place you in the role of God to Pharaoh, with your brother Aaron as your prophet." (Ex. 7:1) How terrifying that must have been for Moses to hear! (Many years later Moses had flashes of ego, but certainly not here.) Also, God described His people as his "host" (or "ranks", depending on your translation.) Therefore we can infer that God intended Moses to lead God's own army.
God explained that Aaron may act as the speaker so long as Moses gave God's instructions exactly. He said that Pharaoh would not obey the instructions, for reasons other than Moses' speech impediment. Instead, God would "harden the heart" of Pharaoh. (And no, this is not the "harden my heart" of the 80's band Quarterflash, which was a protection of a jilted girl's feelings. Rather, this is arteriosclerosis of the spirit. Chabad.org says "Egypt, or Mitzrayim in Hebrew, shares the same root as the word meitzarim, meaning constrictions". Hardening of the heart, being unwilling to change while knowing that one needs to, is called "Pharaoh Syndrome" and sometimes affects us all.)
God rarely interferes with our free will. Why would God harden the heart of Pharaoh? Some do not want to believe that God intended to force a man to sin. However, perhaps God intended to teach a very clear lesson about Pharaoh's supposed divinity. By warning Pharaoh of the plagues that will befall Egypt and giving him the chance to accept the terms or deny them, He allowed Pharaoh to show how little he cared about his people. Common Egyptians and Israelites could experience the wrath of God, see Pharaoh beg for mercy, talk among themselves and come to the conclusion that Pharaoh was not divine. God explained in 7:5 "And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord..." Later, God also reminded the straying Israelites that he freed them with wondrous signs and marvels.
Rashi's translation of the Hebrew is "hard", not "hardened", meaning that Pharaoh already possessed this character trait of inflexibility, even at the risk of serious harm. A footnote in The Midrash Says, explains, "Our Sages state 'One who is willing to purify himself is assisted from Above, but one who intends to defile himself is given opportunity to do so'. Man is free to chose his own direction in life. However, as he progresses in his chosen direction, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to retreat."
The Midrashic text shows how evil Pharaoh is by displaying his obsessive thoughts towards Moshe: "I will stab him. I will hang him. I will burn him..."
I think that perhaps even more than the Egyptians and the Israelites, Moses needed these plagues. Pharaoh's magicians were able to duplicate the signs, but not to overturn God's, so that Pharaoh was forced to beg for mercy. What effect could this have had on Moses? Over the time these plagues occurred, Moses could not help but learn the lesson: Pharaoh was powerful enough to struggle, but not powerful enough to win. When Moses led God's army out of Egypt, he no longer wavered with uncertainty.
Chabad.org says that the Baal Shem Tov found Eastern European Jewry in much the same state that Moses found the Israelites in Egypt. After years of violent persecution, the Jews of the mid-1600s were numb, practicing but not feeling their religion. Although BESHT and God did not inflict plagues on the Cossacks, they did work together to warm the hearts of the numb Jews and thus reawaken them to a life infused with hope. Egyptians were dependent upon the Nile for their very lives; they even worshipped it. Chabad.org says when the cool waters turned to warm blood, it not only stunned the Egyptians, it thawed the numbed hearts of the Israelites.
Moses and Aaron appeared in the court of Pharaoh. (We must remember this was a new Pharaoh; the one whose daughter raised Moses died. Perhaps the Pharaohs are not distinguished by name because with the exception of the Pharaoh Joseph knew, they behaved much the same.) Moses, possibly remembered by Pharaoh's guards, was allowed in. Midrash says Moses waved his staff at the lions and bears guarding the palace gates and the beasts "calmed down and trotted along with Moshe and Aaron as obediently as lambs". As instructed, Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh; it turned into a snake. Although the court magicians were also able to produce snakes on demand, Aaron's snake devoured theirs. God triumphed over magic, but Pharaoh refused to heed the words and signs of Aaron and Moses.
God told Moses that Pharaoh was stubborn. (Proving Rashi's point.) He said Moses should meet Pharaoh early in the morning, when Pharaoh left the palace to bathe in the Nile. (Midrash says he performed his bodily functions in secret to enhance his appearance as a god.) God instructed Moses to warn Pharaoh that because he failed to understand the stakes yesterday, he would now perform a greater marvel: he would strike the Nile with his rod and all the water of the Nile and its disbutaries would turn to blood. Impressive and repulsive, don't you think? How would you like to have your bath water turn to blood with dead fish in it?
Egyptians were not only unable to draw fresh water, but also found that water stored in their homes in vessels and pots, turned to blood. Pharaoh, despite this dramatic sign, simply "turned and went into his palace, paying no regard." Is this how we expect a leader to react to the suffering of his people, deprived of the most immediate human need, water?
This passage, and several that follow, are difficult for me. Were every one of the Egyptians bad, even the children? What about the fish that died? Were they bad? Fortunately the Egyptian children were unharmed because in the following verse, "all the Egyptians had to dig round about the Nile for drinking water." However, Midrash says even the subterranean water and the juice of fruits turned to blood. Only the water in Goshen was unaffected, so the Egyptians bought water from the Jews. Midrash also says that Moshe was reluctant to smite the Nile, which protected rather than drowned him as a baby in a basket.
Several plagues follow in quick succession. The second plague is frogs. Frogs are cute, right? Not when they are in your bed, your oven and your bowl of bread dough. Although the magicians were able to produce frogs (just as they were able to turn sticks to snakes and water to blood), they were unable to make God's frogs go away. Pharaoh had to ask Moses to intervene on his behalf to remove the frogs. He even said he would let the people go to worship. The frogs did not just disappear; they died where they were, and the people piled them up in huge heaps of rotting flesh. I suppose God did not want this lesson easily forgotten.
Midrash makes the plague of frogs even more grotesque, like a low budget 1960's horror flick made in Japan. One "supersized" frog marched towards the palace, undeterred by the Egyptians beating it with sticks. It opened its mouth. Uncountable baby frogs poured forth. Then it whistled and even more frogs, accompanied by sea monsters with big teeth, emerged from the Nile. (If you go to archiemcphee.com, I'll bet you can find action figures for this very plague, or one similar to it!) Midrash even says the frogs entered the bodies of the Egyptians and once inside, screamed to be let out!
The third plague was definitely not cute enough for Archie McPhee: lice in unimaginable proportions. The very dust particles of the earth turned to lice. The magicians could not produce lice and told Pharaoh: "This is the finger of God!" We do not know if Pharaoh was plagued by itching himself. If so, he must have had the very hardest of hearts, knowing intimately how his people suffered and still refusing to listen. He did not ask Moses to remove the lice. Midrash says this plague freed the Israelites from their labors because there was no earth available for making bricks.
The following morning God sent Moses to meet Pharaoh on his way to bathe again. If Pharaoh did not capitulate, God would release swarms of insects everywhere but in the land of Goshen, where the Israelites lived. Midrash says that this plague included not only insects, but also lions, bears, weasels, sea monsters, scorpions and other beasts. Even the domesticated livestock ceased to be tame. So if you read of the plague of wild beasts and wonder if you missed a plague somewhere, it is the plague of insects on steroids. After this plague came to pass, Pharaoh summoned Moses and said they could worship their God. Moses replied that his people could not worship God within the Egyptians because the Egyptians would surely kill them for doing so. (Egyptians believed their ancestors were reincarnated as certain livestock.) They must travel three days' journey away to worship Him. It appears for a moment that Pharaoh relented. He said that he would let them go if they did not travel far and then he asked Moses, "Plead for me."
However, as soon as the insects disappeared, Pharaoh hardened his heart again. The Lord instructed Moses to ask for the release of His people again and to threaten with a plague of pestilence that would kill livestock - except the livestock of the Israelites. (This is a strange passage; it says all the livestock of the Egyptians died, but we see they owned livestock again in the very next plague. Did the Israelites sell to them?)
Next there was a plague of boils, which infected all, even the magicians. The seventh plague was special hail, each stone containing a ball of fire. Moses warned Pharaoh that he and all his people should bring his livestock and all belongings under cover. Those courtiers who believed in God did. The remainder lost their livestock, slaves and crops.
What was the fire for? I imagine its purpose was to prove this was God's hail. A certain Jewish philosopher from the Middle Ages, Hiwi, claimed that Moses' genius was being able to foresee when great natural events would occur and to place the Israelites there. If this were ordinary hail, perhaps... but hail with fire in it? He was called a heretic by the Talmudic Rabbis.
Pharaoh says, "I stand guilty this time. The Lord is in the right and I and my people are in the wrong. Plead for me..." Pharaoh, unlike Hiwi, was impressed by this hail. However, after the hail ceased, Pharaoh again became stubborn and would not let the Israelites go. Thus the parsha ends.
Earlier we saw that Chabad.org compared the pogroms of Eastern Europe to the slavery in Egypt. An Aish.com essay compares our modern times to slavery in Egypt.
Divine Providence has seen fit to put us back into Egypt. The turmoil of the last century, the two World Wars and the Holocaust that was a part of the latter put us in a situation where once again the vast majority of the Jewish people are ignorant of their Torah heritage. At the beginning of the current historic era which began after the Second World War, the percentage of the surviving Jewish nation that had enjoyed serious exposure to Torah knowledge was miniscule. Observant Jews comprised under five percent of the Jewish people while serious Torah scholars barely numbered in the hundreds. It is fair to say that for the first time in Jewish history since the encounter of Sinai, we, the Jewish people are once again in the pre-Torah stage existentially, just as we were before the Exodus. Not having received the Torah or being virtually ignorant of what it contains are identical states from a practical point of view.
The secret of our continued survival is once again dependent on our refusal to assimilate to the Egyptian good life in anticipation of being able to renew our old relationship with God.
In the meantime, we are being tested. God is waiting while we sort ourselves out into those who have a powerful inner vision that there is more to life than the modern world has to offer and those who elect to join. No one can be reasonably expected to drop his or her current attitudes instantaneously. But all Jews can be expected to be willing to hear some Jewish input. Observance and the powerful relationship with God that is associated with making the fulfillment of Torah the focus of one's life is a ladder that has many rungs. Each step in the climb to the top is precious and worthwhile. We are not necessarily obligated to reach the top, but we are all obligated to climb. No step up is possible without some Torah input.
God is always reasonable. He does not expect strict observance from the modern Jew who is ignorant of his own traditions and whose values and outlooks have been shaped by a culture that is dedicated to living wrong. But He does have the reasonable expectation that even the modern Jew becomes familiar with the book we have suffered so much to defend through our long bloody history. Whoever opens it will find that his appreciation for the Torah scholar and his respect for the Torah's vision of the world will grow by leaps and bounds.
Here is a lovely story from Chabad.org, "To the Point of Self-Sacrifice":
At a gathering on July 1 1985 marking the 105th anniversary of Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Schneerson's birth2, the Lubavitcher Rebbe shlita related the following incident from the life of his illustrious predecessor and father-in-law:
It was during Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok's younger years, when the czarist regime still ruled the Russian Empire. A new decree against the Jewish community was in the works, aimed at forcing changes in the structure of the rabbinate and Jewish education. Rabbi Sholom DovBer dispatched his son, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok, to the Russian capital of Petersburg to prevent the decree from being enacted. When Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok asked how long he was to stay in Petersburg, his father replied, "to the point of self-sacrifice."
Upon his arrival in Petersburg, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok learned that the decree had already reached the desk of Stolypin, the interior minister of Russia and arguably the most powerful man in the Russian Empire. The ruling Czar's intelligence (or lack thereof) made him a virtual rubber stamp for whichever minister the prevailing political climate favored; at the that particular time, His Highness was led by the nose by Interior Minister Stolypin, a heartless tyrant and rabid anti-semite who was personally responsible for many of the devastating pogroms which were 'arranged' for the Jews of Russia in those years.
Living in Petersburg was an elderly scholar, a former teacher and mentor of the Interior Minister. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok succeeded in befriending this man, who was greatly impressed by the scope and depth of the young chassid's knowledge. For many an evening the two would sit and talk in the old man's study. One day, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok told his new friend the purpose of his stay in Petersburg and pleaded with him to assist him in reaching the Interior Minister. The old scholar replied: "To speak with him would be useless. The man has a cruel and malicious heart, and I have already severed all contact with this vile creature many years ago. But there is one thing I can do for you. Because of my status as Stolypin's mentor, I have been granted a permanent entry pass into the offices of the interior ministry. I need not explain to you the consequences, for both of us, if you are found out. But I have come to respect you and what you stand for, and I have decided to help you."
When Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok presented the pass at the interior ministry, the guard on duty was stupefied: few were the cabinet-level ministers granted such a privilege, and here stands a young chassid, complete with beard, sidelocks, chassidic garb, and Yiddish accent, at a time when to even reside in Petersburg was forbidden to Jews. But the pass was in order, so he waved him through. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok entered the building and proceeded to look for Stolypin's office. Those whom he asked for directions could only stare at the strange apparition confidently striding the corridors of the interior ministry. Soon he located the minister's office at the far end of a commanding hallway on the fourth floor of the building.
As Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok walked toward the office, the door opened and Stolypin himself walked out and closed the door behind him. The rebbe's son and the interior minister passed within a few feet of each other. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok made straight for the office, opened the door, and walked in. After a quick search, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok located the documents pertaining to the decree in Stolypin's desk. On the desk sat two inkstamps, bearing the words 'APPROVED' or 'REJECTED' above the minister's signature and seal. Quickly, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok stamped the proposed decree 'REJECTED' and inserted the papers into a pile of vetoed documents which sat in a tray on the desk. He then left the room, closed the door behind him, and walked out of the building.
Study for this parsha includes the JPS Tanakh and the Sh'mos edition of the book The Midrash Says, edited by Rabbi Moshe Weissman. Also I consulted Aish.com's Advanced Parsha pages and several of Chabad.org's devars. I did not attend TBI's Torah Study group this week. A side note: Chabad.org is the site of the most powerful line of Chassidism, the Lubavitch. Aish.org intends to represent Judaism in general.
This parsha begins with God's description of himself in Exodus 6:2: "I am the Lord. I appeared to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob as El Shaddai..." El is the name for the highest Canaanite god. Shaddai is the word for mountain, so literally, one of God's names for Himself is God of the Mountain. ( There is a "Midianite Theory" that the gods of Moses and Abraham were different. Since Moses first met God in Midian (now Jordan) while staying in the household of Jethro, a priest, the God of Moses was actually a Midianite war and volcano God, NOT the more empathetic God of Abraham who sat down for dinner and a conversation! In support of this theory, Moses' God did not disappear for a few years between visits. Moses' God would not leave Moses alone! The Revelation at Sinai happened in an atmosphere of threatened volcanic eruption: dense clouds of smoke and fire; the mountain even shook violently.)
However, doesn't the opening of this parsha disprove the Midianite theory? Doesn't it make clear that God considered Himself ONE entity, as we proclaim in the Shema ? (Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One.) For God continues, "...but I did not make Myself known to them by My name..." followed by the unpronounceable Tetragrammaton, and His confirmation that He promised the land of Canaan to the descendants of Abraham.
So how shall we reconcile these two "personalities" of God? Kabbalah has a "tree" diagram showing all the Sefirot (attributes of God, using anthropomorphic terms) and explaining not only how He works within those attributes, but how we should attempt to emulate God, climbing the "tree" as far as we are able. Kabbalah calls loving kindness Chesed and severity/strength (tough love?) Gevurah. It appears that God used the attribute of Chesed more with Abraham and Gevurah more with Moses. There are other attributes being used, of course, but I have neither much talent nor much interest (these shortcomings tend to reinforce each other) in esoteric matters. I will leave a detailed description of the Kabbalistic attributes of God to others more talented than I.
Here are my "logical" thoughts: God knows each of His creations far better than we are able to know ourselves. Therefore, He knows how to approach us. Abraham always seemed to me a righteous man, hard working and faithful to God, but wishy washy in affairs of the heart. For instance, although he should have interfered in the squabbling of his wife and concubine, he did not, much to Sarah's displeasure. If God had dealt with Abraham as harshly as He did with Moses, would Abraham have been crushed? Perhaps.
Moses was filled with dread and foreboding. His "Egyptian insider" status, which no doubt was an advantage in this matter, increased his reluctance to act. If God had appeared as a friend or forgiving parent, would Moses have dilly dallied or not accepted his assignment at all?
Moreover, God gave Himself a name that is easy to understand, God of the Mountain, to Abraham, but a name that could never be understood, unpronounceable and meaning something like "I am what I am" to Moses. When as I child I demanded logical reasons for tasks my father expected me to do, he sometimes gave a similar answer! I didn't need to understand. I just needed to do.
This parsha contains one of my favorite understatements: "I am the Lord... I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and through extraordinary chastisements." (ex 6:6) (This second sentence also contains the alternate title for Maimonides' Mishnah Torah. After initial publication, some people advised Maimonides that calling his work "The Second Torah" sounded egotistical, so Maimonides gave it Sefer Yad haHazaka, Book of the Outstretched Arm, as an alternate title.)
Moses, as instructed, told the Israelites that God heard their cries and was ready to free them and take them into the Promised Land. However, the Israelites were literally made hope-less by their sufferings and did not believe Moses.
When God instructed Moses to ask Pharaoh for the release of His people, Moses protested that if the Israelites would not listen to a man with a speech impediment, why should Pharaoh? (Do all people, even our greatest prophets, share the trait of exaggerating a small fault to the point where it impedes necessary brave actions? I struggle with this myself. Words come easily to paper but poorly to my mouth. I shall have to remember the struggles of Moses - and his ability to rise above them.) God accepted the fears of Moses and included Aaron in his instructions.
There is an intermission here for an accounting of the descendants of many of Jacob's progeny. You may decide to go to the lobby and get a big bucket of popcorn or you may stay and wonder the significance of this break. (I noted that one of the sons of Simeon is named Zohar, the name later chosen for the most important book of Kabbalah. Zohar means "splendor". I find this very interesting because Simeon ben Yohai, often called only Rabbi Simeon, is the assumed author (father) of Zohar! Life imitates Torah throughout the ages, does it not?)
The intended reason for the break appears to be to show that Moses and Aaron were indeed descendants of the patriarchs and therefore worthy by blood to lead this mission. ("It is the same Aaron and Moses...") Levi's sons included Kohath. Kohath's sons included Amran. Amran's sons were Aaron and Moses. Although we are given the names of Aaron's four sons, Moses' are not listed here, perhaps because they do not serve as priests.
After this intermission, God made an incredible statement to Moses: "See, I place you in the role of God to Pharaoh, with your brother Aaron as your prophet." (Ex. 7:1) How terrifying that must have been for Moses to hear! (Many years later Moses had flashes of ego, but certainly not here.) Also, God described His people as his "host" (or "ranks", depending on your translation.) Therefore we can infer that God intended Moses to lead God's own army.
God explained that Aaron may act as the speaker so long as Moses gave God's instructions exactly. He said that Pharaoh would not obey the instructions, for reasons other than Moses' speech impediment. Instead, God would "harden the heart" of Pharaoh. (And no, this is not the "harden my heart" of the 80's band Quarterflash, which was a protection of a jilted girl's feelings. Rather, this is arteriosclerosis of the spirit. Chabad.org says "Egypt, or Mitzrayim in Hebrew, shares the same root as the word meitzarim, meaning constrictions". Hardening of the heart, being unwilling to change while knowing that one needs to, is called "Pharaoh Syndrome" and sometimes affects us all.)
God rarely interferes with our free will. Why would God harden the heart of Pharaoh? Some do not want to believe that God intended to force a man to sin. However, perhaps God intended to teach a very clear lesson about Pharaoh's supposed divinity. By warning Pharaoh of the plagues that will befall Egypt and giving him the chance to accept the terms or deny them, He allowed Pharaoh to show how little he cared about his people. Common Egyptians and Israelites could experience the wrath of God, see Pharaoh beg for mercy, talk among themselves and come to the conclusion that Pharaoh was not divine. God explained in 7:5 "And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord..." Later, God also reminded the straying Israelites that he freed them with wondrous signs and marvels.
Rashi's translation of the Hebrew is "hard", not "hardened", meaning that Pharaoh already possessed this character trait of inflexibility, even at the risk of serious harm. A footnote in The Midrash Says, explains, "Our Sages state 'One who is willing to purify himself is assisted from Above, but one who intends to defile himself is given opportunity to do so'. Man is free to chose his own direction in life. However, as he progresses in his chosen direction, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to retreat."
The Midrashic text shows how evil Pharaoh is by displaying his obsessive thoughts towards Moshe: "I will stab him. I will hang him. I will burn him..."
I think that perhaps even more than the Egyptians and the Israelites, Moses needed these plagues. Pharaoh's magicians were able to duplicate the signs, but not to overturn God's, so that Pharaoh was forced to beg for mercy. What effect could this have had on Moses? Over the time these plagues occurred, Moses could not help but learn the lesson: Pharaoh was powerful enough to struggle, but not powerful enough to win. When Moses led God's army out of Egypt, he no longer wavered with uncertainty.
Chabad.org says that the Baal Shem Tov found Eastern European Jewry in much the same state that Moses found the Israelites in Egypt. After years of violent persecution, the Jews of the mid-1600s were numb, practicing but not feeling their religion. Although BESHT and God did not inflict plagues on the Cossacks, they did work together to warm the hearts of the numb Jews and thus reawaken them to a life infused with hope. Egyptians were dependent upon the Nile for their very lives; they even worshipped it. Chabad.org says when the cool waters turned to warm blood, it not only stunned the Egyptians, it thawed the numbed hearts of the Israelites.
Moses and Aaron appeared in the court of Pharaoh. (We must remember this was a new Pharaoh; the one whose daughter raised Moses died. Perhaps the Pharaohs are not distinguished by name because with the exception of the Pharaoh Joseph knew, they behaved much the same.) Moses, possibly remembered by Pharaoh's guards, was allowed in. Midrash says Moses waved his staff at the lions and bears guarding the palace gates and the beasts "calmed down and trotted along with Moshe and Aaron as obediently as lambs". As instructed, Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh; it turned into a snake. Although the court magicians were also able to produce snakes on demand, Aaron's snake devoured theirs. God triumphed over magic, but Pharaoh refused to heed the words and signs of Aaron and Moses.
God told Moses that Pharaoh was stubborn. (Proving Rashi's point.) He said Moses should meet Pharaoh early in the morning, when Pharaoh left the palace to bathe in the Nile. (Midrash says he performed his bodily functions in secret to enhance his appearance as a god.) God instructed Moses to warn Pharaoh that because he failed to understand the stakes yesterday, he would now perform a greater marvel: he would strike the Nile with his rod and all the water of the Nile and its disbutaries would turn to blood. Impressive and repulsive, don't you think? How would you like to have your bath water turn to blood with dead fish in it?
Egyptians were not only unable to draw fresh water, but also found that water stored in their homes in vessels and pots, turned to blood. Pharaoh, despite this dramatic sign, simply "turned and went into his palace, paying no regard." Is this how we expect a leader to react to the suffering of his people, deprived of the most immediate human need, water?
This passage, and several that follow, are difficult for me. Were every one of the Egyptians bad, even the children? What about the fish that died? Were they bad? Fortunately the Egyptian children were unharmed because in the following verse, "all the Egyptians had to dig round about the Nile for drinking water." However, Midrash says even the subterranean water and the juice of fruits turned to blood. Only the water in Goshen was unaffected, so the Egyptians bought water from the Jews. Midrash also says that Moshe was reluctant to smite the Nile, which protected rather than drowned him as a baby in a basket.
Several plagues follow in quick succession. The second plague is frogs. Frogs are cute, right? Not when they are in your bed, your oven and your bowl of bread dough. Although the magicians were able to produce frogs (just as they were able to turn sticks to snakes and water to blood), they were unable to make God's frogs go away. Pharaoh had to ask Moses to intervene on his behalf to remove the frogs. He even said he would let the people go to worship. The frogs did not just disappear; they died where they were, and the people piled them up in huge heaps of rotting flesh. I suppose God did not want this lesson easily forgotten.
Midrash makes the plague of frogs even more grotesque, like a low budget 1960's horror flick made in Japan. One "supersized" frog marched towards the palace, undeterred by the Egyptians beating it with sticks. It opened its mouth. Uncountable baby frogs poured forth. Then it whistled and even more frogs, accompanied by sea monsters with big teeth, emerged from the Nile. (If you go to archiemcphee.com, I'll bet you can find action figures for this very plague, or one similar to it!) Midrash even says the frogs entered the bodies of the Egyptians and once inside, screamed to be let out!
The third plague was definitely not cute enough for Archie McPhee: lice in unimaginable proportions. The very dust particles of the earth turned to lice. The magicians could not produce lice and told Pharaoh: "This is the finger of God!" We do not know if Pharaoh was plagued by itching himself. If so, he must have had the very hardest of hearts, knowing intimately how his people suffered and still refusing to listen. He did not ask Moses to remove the lice. Midrash says this plague freed the Israelites from their labors because there was no earth available for making bricks.
The following morning God sent Moses to meet Pharaoh on his way to bathe again. If Pharaoh did not capitulate, God would release swarms of insects everywhere but in the land of Goshen, where the Israelites lived. Midrash says that this plague included not only insects, but also lions, bears, weasels, sea monsters, scorpions and other beasts. Even the domesticated livestock ceased to be tame. So if you read of the plague of wild beasts and wonder if you missed a plague somewhere, it is the plague of insects on steroids. After this plague came to pass, Pharaoh summoned Moses and said they could worship their God. Moses replied that his people could not worship God within the Egyptians because the Egyptians would surely kill them for doing so. (Egyptians believed their ancestors were reincarnated as certain livestock.) They must travel three days' journey away to worship Him. It appears for a moment that Pharaoh relented. He said that he would let them go if they did not travel far and then he asked Moses, "Plead for me."
However, as soon as the insects disappeared, Pharaoh hardened his heart again. The Lord instructed Moses to ask for the release of His people again and to threaten with a plague of pestilence that would kill livestock - except the livestock of the Israelites. (This is a strange passage; it says all the livestock of the Egyptians died, but we see they owned livestock again in the very next plague. Did the Israelites sell to them?)
Next there was a plague of boils, which infected all, even the magicians. The seventh plague was special hail, each stone containing a ball of fire. Moses warned Pharaoh that he and all his people should bring his livestock and all belongings under cover. Those courtiers who believed in God did. The remainder lost their livestock, slaves and crops.
What was the fire for? I imagine its purpose was to prove this was God's hail. A certain Jewish philosopher from the Middle Ages, Hiwi, claimed that Moses' genius was being able to foresee when great natural events would occur and to place the Israelites there. If this were ordinary hail, perhaps... but hail with fire in it? He was called a heretic by the Talmudic Rabbis.
Pharaoh says, "I stand guilty this time. The Lord is in the right and I and my people are in the wrong. Plead for me..." Pharaoh, unlike Hiwi, was impressed by this hail. However, after the hail ceased, Pharaoh again became stubborn and would not let the Israelites go. Thus the parsha ends.
Earlier we saw that Chabad.org compared the pogroms of Eastern Europe to the slavery in Egypt. An Aish.com essay compares our modern times to slavery in Egypt.
Divine Providence has seen fit to put us back into Egypt. The turmoil of the last century, the two World Wars and the Holocaust that was a part of the latter put us in a situation where once again the vast majority of the Jewish people are ignorant of their Torah heritage. At the beginning of the current historic era which began after the Second World War, the percentage of the surviving Jewish nation that had enjoyed serious exposure to Torah knowledge was miniscule. Observant Jews comprised under five percent of the Jewish people while serious Torah scholars barely numbered in the hundreds. It is fair to say that for the first time in Jewish history since the encounter of Sinai, we, the Jewish people are once again in the pre-Torah stage existentially, just as we were before the Exodus. Not having received the Torah or being virtually ignorant of what it contains are identical states from a practical point of view.
The secret of our continued survival is once again dependent on our refusal to assimilate to the Egyptian good life in anticipation of being able to renew our old relationship with God.
In the meantime, we are being tested. God is waiting while we sort ourselves out into those who have a powerful inner vision that there is more to life than the modern world has to offer and those who elect to join. No one can be reasonably expected to drop his or her current attitudes instantaneously. But all Jews can be expected to be willing to hear some Jewish input. Observance and the powerful relationship with God that is associated with making the fulfillment of Torah the focus of one's life is a ladder that has many rungs. Each step in the climb to the top is precious and worthwhile. We are not necessarily obligated to reach the top, but we are all obligated to climb. No step up is possible without some Torah input.
God is always reasonable. He does not expect strict observance from the modern Jew who is ignorant of his own traditions and whose values and outlooks have been shaped by a culture that is dedicated to living wrong. But He does have the reasonable expectation that even the modern Jew becomes familiar with the book we have suffered so much to defend through our long bloody history. Whoever opens it will find that his appreciation for the Torah scholar and his respect for the Torah's vision of the world will grow by leaps and bounds.
Here is a lovely story from Chabad.org, "To the Point of Self-Sacrifice":
At a gathering on July 1 1985 marking the 105th anniversary of Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Schneerson's birth2, the Lubavitcher Rebbe shlita related the following incident from the life of his illustrious predecessor and father-in-law:
It was during Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok's younger years, when the czarist regime still ruled the Russian Empire. A new decree against the Jewish community was in the works, aimed at forcing changes in the structure of the rabbinate and Jewish education. Rabbi Sholom DovBer dispatched his son, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok, to the Russian capital of Petersburg to prevent the decree from being enacted. When Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok asked how long he was to stay in Petersburg, his father replied, "to the point of self-sacrifice."
Upon his arrival in Petersburg, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok learned that the decree had already reached the desk of Stolypin, the interior minister of Russia and arguably the most powerful man in the Russian Empire. The ruling Czar's intelligence (or lack thereof) made him a virtual rubber stamp for whichever minister the prevailing political climate favored; at the that particular time, His Highness was led by the nose by Interior Minister Stolypin, a heartless tyrant and rabid anti-semite who was personally responsible for many of the devastating pogroms which were 'arranged' for the Jews of Russia in those years.
Living in Petersburg was an elderly scholar, a former teacher and mentor of the Interior Minister. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok succeeded in befriending this man, who was greatly impressed by the scope and depth of the young chassid's knowledge. For many an evening the two would sit and talk in the old man's study. One day, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok told his new friend the purpose of his stay in Petersburg and pleaded with him to assist him in reaching the Interior Minister. The old scholar replied: "To speak with him would be useless. The man has a cruel and malicious heart, and I have already severed all contact with this vile creature many years ago. But there is one thing I can do for you. Because of my status as Stolypin's mentor, I have been granted a permanent entry pass into the offices of the interior ministry. I need not explain to you the consequences, for both of us, if you are found out. But I have come to respect you and what you stand for, and I have decided to help you."
When Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok presented the pass at the interior ministry, the guard on duty was stupefied: few were the cabinet-level ministers granted such a privilege, and here stands a young chassid, complete with beard, sidelocks, chassidic garb, and Yiddish accent, at a time when to even reside in Petersburg was forbidden to Jews. But the pass was in order, so he waved him through. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok entered the building and proceeded to look for Stolypin's office. Those whom he asked for directions could only stare at the strange apparition confidently striding the corridors of the interior ministry. Soon he located the minister's office at the far end of a commanding hallway on the fourth floor of the building.
As Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok walked toward the office, the door opened and Stolypin himself walked out and closed the door behind him. The rebbe's son and the interior minister passed within a few feet of each other. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok made straight for the office, opened the door, and walked in. After a quick search, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok located the documents pertaining to the decree in Stolypin's desk. On the desk sat two inkstamps, bearing the words 'APPROVED' or 'REJECTED' above the minister's signature and seal. Quickly, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok stamped the proposed decree 'REJECTED' and inserted the papers into a pile of vetoed documents which sat in a tray on the desk. He then left the room, closed the door behind him, and walked out of the building.
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